Saturday- Things I can't believe I'm saying

We're going to try a new Saturday feature here at Spilt Milk.  "Things I can't believe I'm saying."  Every Saturday, I'll try to update with a quick post that will detail some item from the week that made me stop and go "hmm."

To start us off, I have a little nugget from this afternoon.  Today, we have a houseguest.  Casadie had a gymnastics workshop this morning, and when I picked her up, she and her friend Andrei pleaded for a playdate.  He's the gorgeous and charismatic son of the owner, an extremely talented young man, 9 years old.  Casadie has had a little crush on him for a while, and honestly, what red-blooded little girl wouldn't?  He's ADORABLE.  So, we get permission from his parents, and off we go!

Once home, they go upstairs to play.  The cleanest, most organized room right now is Alex's room, normally locked and off-limits since he's at college.  I decided to let them play in there while I was doing laundry.  Casadie kept trying to shut the door, and Andrei wanted it open.  I had to step in and say "Casadie, when we have boys over to play, the door should remain open."   Casadie said "Why?!",  and in an effort to avoid an uncomfortable conversation that could actually make them THINK about doing something inappropriate, I just shrugged and said "Because I said so."  Andrei looked at me for a moment, and looked at Casadie, and said "Thank goodness I'm a boy!"  I had to turn away quickly before they both caught me busting out a laugh.

Later, my policy on the open door became very prophetic..but not because Casadie got any wild ideas, but because my 5 year old, Delanie decided that Andrei WILL be her future husband, and was trying to seal the deal with a kiss!  Andrei had to ask (ever so politely..I LOVE that boy) for some assistance, and I had to go up and tell my 5 year old that kissing playmates is not acceptable.  Hopefully, there will not be a repeat with her or any of her sisters today.  I can only have this conversation once.

Kimball Traditions- The Tooth Fairy

Traditions.  Such a wonderful part of any family.  Whether big or small, traditions help unite generations, mark moments in time, and provide a connection to warm family memories for years to come.  I am particularly attached to tradition.  From the time I was a kid, traditional moments dot my reminiscing.  After being picked up from camp, we ALWAYS stopped at this little store for a snack and a potty stop.  Once I got older, started working at the camp all summer and that little store burned down, the tradition became a Saturday evening trip to Dr. Munchie's pizza every weekend.  Our Christmas tree was decorated every year on the Friday after Thanksgiving, and we burst into "It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas" at the VERY first glimpse of Christmas lights as the season got started.

Once I had children of my own, I of course continued many traditions and established new ones.  As a new, young mother of two, I took my kids to each new Disney movie, on the first day of release.  Preferably the first showing.  I continued decorating the tree on Friday after Thanksgiving, until Bethanie was born, on December 7th.  For a while, I decided to respectfully wait until after her birthday to do it, but have since become a little more fluid with that date.  We buy each of the kids a Hallmark ornament at Christmas and write a little inscription on the inside lid.  My Mom sent my ornaments with me to decorate my first tree, and I will do the same for my kids.

Over the years, as we've added more children to the Kimball brood, it's easy to see how some traditions, started innocently and easily with just 1-2 kids, can get VERY out-of-hand when you have a large family.  Today's example is the Tooth Fairy.   Of course, the Tooth Fairy serves every family, whether you have 1 kid or 18, but because she knows every family is unique and special, she tailors her tooth-retrieval service to the specific needs of the family.  At least that's the story in our house.  When Alex and Bethanie were little and the only kids on the horizon for this very ambitious mother, the Tooth Fairy delivered a BEAUTIFUL bookstore-quality book complete with inscription, AND a crisp $5 bill.  Yes, over-the-top..but who cares.  The Tooth Fairy loves books, and knows my kids love books, and so she aims to please.  The baby teeth days are fleeting, so my arrangement with the Dental Queen was something to be cherished and celebrated.

Many years later, as Casadie began to lose her teeth and the Tooth Fairy would again be visiting the Kimball household, I stopped short, and quickly counted the number of baby teeth this Enamel-Wrangler would be picking up from our home in the next several years.  4 more girls, 7-8 teeth apiece (how many baby teeth do kids lose, exactly? I've lost count!) Speaking conservatively, we're talking $150 bucks and a veritable library of top-shelf Newberry Award Winners.  The Barnes and Noble CEO should be sending flowers to our house.  Bill hopelessly suggested (he never had a chance) cutting the cash back to $1 and buying paperbacks, but I said the Lady of Floss could afford $5, 2-3 times per year.  He sighed, rolled his eyes lovingly (I swear), and drove me to the bookstore to make a few selections. (The Chomper Collector treasures and uses Mom's suggestions when she delivers the books, of course.)

Casadie has been working on her top two teeth, which have REALLY taken their time.  I was worried that an Oral Surgeon might be needed to help these along, and that given her age of 7, she might be close to abandoning her belief in the Princess of Plaque.  But, once the tooth came out yesterday, the debate as to where to put the tooth, which bed to sleep in (we really have a musical beds thing going on over here lately..with bunk beds in two different rooms and sisters who like to switch loyalties and alliances..a long story for another day), began in earnest. 

Any doubts I may have harbored, ie "will the kids REALLY remember this as a cherished tradition, or is this Queen of Gleam just wasting her money?" was absolutely dispelled this morning, when Casadie marched downstairs, grinning a toothless smile ear-to-ear, and clutching a large book under her arm, "Zen Shorts."  

"Mommy! Look what the Tooth Fairy brought me!"  She showed me the book with the beautiful water-color illustrations, and read the, may I say, very touching inscription to me.
"That looks wonderful!" I replied, "have you read it yet?"
"No, not yet.  I want to get Library Mouse, & the Marshmallow Incident first. I haven't found them yet."

Mom very confused: "Why do you need those books first?"

Casadie "Well, those were the first and second books the Tooth Fairy ever gave me.  I want to read them in order before I start Zen Shorts.  The Tooth Fairy always gives me such beautiful books."


A Mother's silly indulgences completely validated in the wise and wonderful words of a 7 year old, who is losing her baby teeth kind of late.  She still believes in the magic, and I am absolutely proud and excited to provide it to her.

Rock on, Tooth Fairy.

For the birds....(I mean, KIDS)

Confession time.

I hate birds.  Also, I am not bright.  Impulsive and child-like, but not necessarily bright.  One might wonder why on earth these two things are related, and one might also note that probably only ONE of those two facts is news to anybody.

A little background on my bird-hating-ness.  I haven't always hated birds.  They are pretty.  They have a beautiful, melodious sound.  They eat bugs and such.  I once even owned a bird.  A co-worker of my ex-husband talked him into taking on an orphaned cockatiel.  I believe the cockatiel was orphaned because it was the devil, and no one could stand it, but I digress.  I happily thought that a cockatiel was just the most adorable pet to add to our brand-new little family.  Because every newlywed couple needs a squawking, obnoxious bird that wants out of it's cage at all hours of the day and night, right? That kind of stress is perfect on a budding new marriage when you're all of 18 and 19 years old.  So anyway, to make a long story short...the bird didn't work out (neither did the marriage, but it would be a few more years before we'd admit to that), and we ended up giving him away.  At least I *think* we did..I'm pretty sure I didn't agree to one of Jay's wilder plans to let it go free in the Oregon wilderness.

Cut to several years later, not really on *loving* terms anymore with birds in general, I was pecked, rather ferociously in an aviary at the Portland Zoo.  We had our adorable son Alex with us, baby Bethanie in the stroller, and some horrible little green and red beast nearly pecked me to death while my husband (now EX-husband) laughed riotously at my predicament.  Not long after that, he rented Alfred Hitchcock's "The Birds" for us to enjoy in the privacy of our own home.  Evil bastard.  

Ever since then, I avoid aviaries, even if it requires back-tracking half a mile through the zoo or park path to find an alternate route.  I don't need to see any more birds.  They have feathers, two feet, and occasionally one will have a very interesting-looking beak.  Whoopee.  Somehow, the big kids caught on that I wasn't just disdainful and bored..but that there was a real fear involved.  Like my unreasonable fear of popping Pillsbury biscuit cans, this has now become a source of gleeful amusement for them.  They pat me condescendingly on the head or shoulders, offer to hold a map or jacket over my head and escort me quickly through the aviary so I don't have to backtrack.  They say witty things like "Oh..that's RIGHT...you're as scared of birds as you are of loudly popping biscuit cans, AREN'T YOU??" and I just give them my best "I will KILL you when we get home" grin..and run through the aviary at top speed to prove my bravery, flinging other people's small children aside like they are bread crumbs.  Which I hope the birds think they are, at least long enough to distract them from me.

So, when one irrational woman is afraid of birds, and is ridiculously annoyed when the chirping outside wakes her up at the unholy hour of 7am, what is the best course of action?.....

.....buying a bird feeder for homeschool of course.  The girls saw the project in a book, and clamored endlessly and adorably for it, until I gave in.  The project actually involved BUILDING a bird feeder..but since I'm handier with a debit card than a hammer...a beautiful black bird feeder came home, along with a bag of "Songbird mix."  (Is it made of real songbirds?  I hope so!  *maniacal hand-wringing and 'muahahaha-ing'*) So now, the girls can gleefully watch for birds in the backyard, and I can lay in bed at 7 in the morning with a pillow over my head.


.....I'm thinking of buying a BB gun.

PS.  As I wrote this..I realize then, what an oddity it is that I enjoy playing "Angry Birds".  I realized that I'd rather be the pigs.  But I'm still mildly obsessed.  Just an odd coincidence.

I broke my funny...

Sorry folks, my funny got broken.  I have always intended for my blog to be a humorous and light-hearted look at the craziness that is our life..but I suppose it wouldn’t be real and honest if it didn’t occasionally explore the darker, crazed side of my “crazed life as a homeschooling mother of 6”.    The end quarter of the year, all the way through February is what Bill and I lovingly and laughingly call “Kimball Crazy Quarter”..and it’s a time filled with the normal stressful holidays, our anniversary, and not one, not two, but 4 birthdays for our family.  So understandably, my stress level rises during this period anyway.  Add to it the exceptional hardships we’ve been facing financially through our layoffs, the new added stress of a job that doesn’t fit my personality and a few tragic and horrific situations for family and friends, and it’s a recipe for a personal fitting of a white coat for me.

I’ve struggled lately with severe feelings of self-doubt, plummeting self-confidence, worry about the future , and even confusion about what I WANT from our future.  I had dreams…they were to have a beautiful family, wonderful husband, and a job at Walt Disney World.  Have, Have and Had.  Now what?  It’s definitely time to re-evaluate and set some new goals, but that’s where the self-doubt is coming in.  Our financial hole is so deep, I can’t see the top, let alone the beautiful horizon.

Homeschooling fills part of that horizon.  I see my children enjoying each other’s company, I see Bill and I really reconnecting with them and learning much more of their personalities that I ever would have known if they were in daycare and school for 8+ hours per day.  For this, I am grateful.  It gives me small, meaningful goals for the day, the week, and even a year’s worth, but still, I feel lost.  I worry that my depressive episodes will cause me to lose focus on this particular goal, and that wouldn’t just hurt me, it would absolutely be damaging to the girls and their future.  So the self doubt creeps in, and makes me wonder if they wouldn’t be better off back in school.  I know every homeschooling parent experiences some measure of this worry, but mine are just exacerbated now with my overall hot mess.

I could spend an entire blog complaining about my job, but I’ll just say that I do love Hilton.  I love most of the people I work with.  I could easily see myself leading this team, supporting them in this very difficult job of telemarketing, but the actual job of being on the phone, suffering the abuse of a nation of people that feel it’s ok to demean, demoralize and otherwise rudely treat me simply because I’m a telemarketer is so hard to endure.  Each sale equals success, and refills my bucket a little bit, and the rare no-sale with a wonderful person and a great conversation does as well. 

  But when in a 6.5 hour shift, and well over 400 calls results in no sales, my bucket is empty, overturned, stomped on, and has a hole drilled in it.  Filling it with a success just becomes that much harder.  I’m told I’m very good at this job.  My superiors say that my style on the phone is awesome, and I’m the best of the best.   This is so hard to believe after someone has just cursed at me, and told me I’m worthless because I happened to call them during their 7:47pm dinner.  I can see a future with this company as a leader, and I’m making inroads toward that end, but the emotions that threaten to bubble over and become on display are endangering the professional demeanor I struggle to present.  For those who say “why wait until you can be promoted? If it’s that hard on you emotionally, find something else!”….I’m trapped.  Utterly and absolutely without options.  The money I make when the going is good is absolutely enough to make it impossible to leave.  There are zero comparable options out there for someone like me, with no degree and with my need for reasonable hours and legal work.  I mean, I suppose I could be a prostitute, but then we’d spend so much on bail money, lawyers, etc.   *sigh*  And face it, there’s only so much of a niche market for gals like me.  (ok..so my funny is bruised, not necessarily broken.) 

I struggle with exhaustion.  A job that requires so much mental Olympics and verbal sparring until 10:30 or later each night, means that I am too keyed up to sleep until well into the wee hours of the morning.  In turn, this results in me having to sleep later, cutting into exercise time, homeschooling time, errands, housework, etc..something has to give, and often, it’s ALL of the above, rather than just one or two things.  All of this feeds back into the overwhelming feelings of worthlessness  that are becoming harder and harder to rise above.  On numerous occasions, I’ve called one friend or another only to burst into tears and blubber my way through a rant on how awful my life is.  To those friends who have endured those calls, I can only apologize and thank you for listening.

At the risk of making this the longest post ever, I’ll wind down by saying that I DO remember the positive things in my life.    I do see the value in my beautiful family and my wonderful, generous husband.  I recognize the luck I have in that regard and I count the little things among those things I value the most. 

A husband that continues to get my car door for me, 13 years into our relationship.  He is the best of the best in so many ways, and he supports me  99.5% through all of this, even while dealing with his own feelings of stress and struggle with our situation.  I say 99.5% because no one can truly support 100% the sour moods I get into.  It’s impossible to ask of someone, and he occasionally is just done with them, has his say, and then he slips back into the wonderfully supportive man I know.  I would love to just have him welded to my side.

A talented, intelligent son who has risen above his own personal challenges of autism, and is successfully navigating college life in pursuit of a physics degree.

A beautiful, creative teenage daughter, who while exhibiting normal teenage attitude, continues to provide invaluable assistance to me and her father while we get through this difficult period in our life.

Little girls who love unconditionally, and who always are a source of laughter and fun. 

Our health..recent events with friends and children of friends make me so grateful that my children are healthy and that they continue to thrive. 

Homeschooling.  I am so grateful to have found this outlet for my energy and my need to plan and set goals.  With no other goals in my personal life to strive for at the moment, this becomes a good focus for me, and I get to be closer to my girls.

Friends who listen.  My circle of friends is wide and varied.  I am continually entertained on Facebook, so when I’m at my darkest, reading their observations and anecdotes of their lives truly help me get back on track, at least for that moment, and I gain a lot of positive energy from that.

This blog.  I am grateful that I started this, and I’m grateful for the wonderful feedback I’ve gotten.  My family is special to me, and I’m glad that at least a few of you enjoy their antics.  I’m sorry to post something that is seemingly so out of character, but truly, this is just another side of Jennifer, one that not as many people see.  I am fairly good at faking it most of the time, but lately, I’m just so tired.  I do promise to find my funny again soon, and I am taking notes of the little things that happen.  Maybe another thankful list will be forthcoming soon.

Much love and sincere thanks for popping in and spending time with me.  I promise to follow doctor’s orders regarding my broken or bruised funny, and will be on the mend.

Merry Christmas!!!

Merry Christmas!  As you can imagine, in the Kimball house, like any other, it can get crazy!  But considering we live in Florida, away from our extended family, we are grateful for the large number of children we have, to give our holiday the chaos and bustle that Bill and I remember from our childhoods.  Our kids may not have cousins to run and frolic with, but they will always have each other, and the shared memories of the season will last them for decades to come.

So, Merry Christmas! From Bill and Jenn, as we drive around at 2am from 7-11 to 7-11 to Wal-mart, looking for one more blister-pack of Harry Potter Silly Bandz, because Santa would NEVER forget one child when filling the stockings!

From Jenn, fighting the crowds at Best Buy, because the gift I had finally decided to buy for my impossible-to-shop-for husband suddenly appeared in a pile of last-minute bargains he HAD to get while he was shopping yesterday.  Time for a new plan!

From Bill, working hard at CVS to help fill last-minute prescriptions for people who will be unable to get it done tomorrow while they are closed.  Seniors and Tourists are cranky people when they can't get their meds immediately, so he will be working hard to maintain holiday cheer, as well.  Hopefully, he will be home soon.

From Alex, on his 6th lap around the neighborhood with Fynnlie.  We've put out some of the gifts already, and she's having a hard time keeping out of them.  Walks in the stroller provide a good 45 minutes of freedom from constant monitoring of the tree and baby at the same time.

From Bethanie, working hard to beat her 7 year old sister at making the longest paper chain.  Recreating moments from your childhood in order to give those experiences to your younger siblings is refreshing!

From Casadie, utterly thrilled to find that she's superior at making paper chains, besting her 16 year old sister.  Constant calls to come "hold it up and see how tall it is" reveal that it would take about two Moms, laying head to toe to match the length.  Much more to do, though!

From Delanie, 6 links in the paper chains and over it.  Just. Done.  Specifically moved the project table in front of the couch for her, so that she could sit and relax, and fool the siblings and subsequent photographs into thinking she was actively participating.

From Emmalie, obsessed with eggnog.  Endless clamoring for more.  Repeatedly.  We feel indulgent, since this is the only time we ever have it, but also don't want her on the cover of the tabloids as the "Preschooler who gained 85 pounds from drinking eggnog!!  Photos inside!"

From Fynnlie, so very fascinated with the lights, the bows, the wrapping, the strange activities...but bewildered at all the times she gets strapped into the stroller and taken for a walk.  Highly unusual.  Also battling a small bug, but we're hopeful her eyes won't be glassy and feverish in the photos.

From Sadie, our dog.  Nothing special to say..it's a pretty normal day for her, she just wanted to say hi.

From all of us, up to our elbows and eyebrows with sugar cookie baking and decorating...this activity will be the messiest and most delicious project we'll take on all year.  This is what will cause us to be up too late, find that Santa has already passed Florida on the Norad Tracker and make me have to scramble for a story. "Umm..well, Santa realizes that not everyone puts their kids to bed at 7, so he just checks to see, and if we're still awake, he puts on the list to come back after he does other states.  It's no problem, he's so magical!"  It's still working, but I have no  idea how many more years I can pull this off.  Thank goodness I can think fast.  I make up all sorts of nonsense that they remind me of the next year.

From all of us, as the kids open one gift from Grandma tonight, and put on new, semi-matching pajamas before crawling into their beds.

From all of us, as Bill and I wake the to shrieking joy that is little girls discovering their stockings and their one, bigger un-wrapped gift from Santa.  Us grown-ups will groan and stretch, wishing that just for once, children slept until noon on Christmas Day, but also loving the sound of their laughter, and look in their eyes as they show us all the treasures.  For us, we are grateful for our children's health, their intelligence, and their exuberant personalities as we go through this life together, and Christmas morning is a time to just revel in the luck we have experienced in having them.

Merry Christmas from the Kimballs, our Spilt Milk and our Sticky Kisses!

Blinking while driving

Here’s how I imagine the conversation went.

Governor Charlie Christ: “We really need to remove Governmental influence from people’s lives.  Let’s cut them a break.  What can we do to show them we really care?”

Underling: “We could tell them they don’t have to use turn signals anymore! That’s very annoying, and I know I’D be thrilled!”

Gov. Charlie: “I’ll go one better.  Let’s leave the law on the books, but just have all car manufacturers make cars WITHOUT turn signals.  That way, if we need funds, the police can still write tickets for not using them.  Until that day, though, the Floridian people will just have one less pesky little rule to follow, whether they want to follow it or not.”

I say this is how I imagine it, because I imagine LOTS of strange things as I drive.  Mostly, I imagine that 99% of the drivers in Florida today opened a can of Pringles and were thrilled to fine a gen-yoo-ine Florida Driver’s license inside! “Yahoo! I done got one of them permits to drive!  Now I don’t have to black out my windows as much!”

I also imagine that waves of tourists and immigrants decide, en mass, that THEIR way of driving in their country is just as good as or better than ours, so why read the damn manual anyway?  A friend, who is originally from India, once showed me a video on YouTube that showed a typical Indian intersection.  It looked like crazy, drunken ants racing to cross each other, stop, rub noses or scents and scurry on, right after you shove a large stick into their anthill and stir it up.  It was insanity! It very much resembles trying to merge onto the 408 from I-4, and I know you know what I mean.

So, among this imagining I do while in the car, I had to come up with some hypothesis to explain the utter lack of people using blinkers in this state.  I mean, honestly…why WOULD seemingly law-abiding citizens deliberately flout this very simple procedure?  These are the same kind people that wave at me if I let them cut in front of me and my safe distance cushion.  I realize they were waving with one finger, but surely, if they are that polite, AND they have full range of motion in their arms, shoulders, elbows, wrists, hands and especially that middle finger, they MUST have the ability to simply reach 1 inch to the left of the steering wheel and flip that turn signal up or down.  Wouldn’t they?

So I came to the obvious conclusion that cars sold in Florida must no longer have turn signals installed.  That of course, led to how that might have happened, and in the middle of the recent political climate, it was an easy leap to come up with that scenario.  Governor tries to help the people, a suggestion is whispered, and something crazy becomes the norm.    I do hope someone whispers to Rick Scott that millions of jobs can be created if we simply put the unemployed to work re-installing the turn signals and teaching drivers how to use them.

Governor Rick Scott: “I need something to deflect concern that I might be a crook.”

Underling: “Well, you know all those tickets we wrote for not using turn signals?  Seems that is pretty much unenforceable since Charlie had blinkers removed in 2006.  We’re going to lose $2 billion in funding for schools.

Gov Rick “Our citation money is funding schools? That’s gotta stop.”

Underling: “Since lawsuits are going to suck up that money anyway, why don’t we just close the schools, have the teachers reinstall the blinkers in all cars, and send stimulus checks to everyone who owns a BMW or better?”

Gov Scott. “Genius! Make it so, number one!”

*much could be inferred from my use of a Republican governor and underling.  Much could also be inferred from the fact that the last three governors in Florida just happen to be Republican, and I’m convinced SOMEONE had a hand in this.  Carry on.

A Theme Park Day in our Lives

Here’s another chapter in the “How on earth do you DO it, with so many kids?” book o’ questions.  On Sunday, we decided to visit Universal Studios and Islands of Adventure to take part in their holiday festivities.  We’ve been living in Central Florida for 11 years, and had not yet visited Grinchmas and the Macy’s parade at the two parks.  We were doubly excited because some new friends from homeschooling were going to meet us and hang with us, so it was going to be a fun day!  Now, readers of my blog know that we are not early risers here in the Kimball household, so you really ought to start off being impressed that our plans included arriving at the park by 9-9:15am.

7am-the first alarms go off.  Snooze.

7:09-the alarm goes off again.  Snooze.  (WHY again, are they only 9 minutes long??”

7:18-Again with the alarm.  Hear the big kids are up and helping the little girls get up. SCORE-reset the alarm for 8am.

8am-get up, mumble unintelligibly about having to get out of bed when it’s so dang cold!

8:15-finish shower, get dressed, change clothes twice.  It’s a toss-up between looking somewhat fashionable for my new friends, and trying to figure out exactly how cold it will be today.  There’s not a cloud in the sky, so it’ll warm up decently, so a fashionable t-shirt it is!

8:45  We all run around like chickens finishing up getting ready.  I’m in charge of the camera, and USUALLY I’m the one combing little girls’ hair.  Bill has grabbed the brush, so I am left adrift.  I realize that the camera is nearly full, so I begin deleting bad shots in earnest.  The big kids help the girls find shoes and one of them gets the diaper bag ready.  I won’t name this person (Alex) because we find later that he didn’t add any wipes to the wipes container.

9:15-We are outside.  This is a win, even though we’re about 30 minutes behind schedule.  20 minutes later, after arguments about who gets to sit next to Alex, and removing car seats just so the seats can be flipped down to access the 3^rd row and then the car seats get replaced, everyone is strapped in.  This is when Bill and I make 3-4 trips back into the house to retrieve forgotten items.  Jackets, phone chargers, diaper bags, the extra stroller, etc.  The big kids carry important items to the car, such as Fynnlie’s cup, Fynnlie..etc.

10:00-Parking at Universal.  As usual, we are the car selected to begin a new row, waaaaaaaay at the end.  Seriously tempted to show them my large belly and claim third trimester pregnancy to get them to let us park at the closer end.  It doesn’t always work.

10:05- The family abandons me at the bag check line.  All the bags/coats, wraps, cameras, water bottles etc. are stuffed into the bottom of the stroller, so they are free to go through the no-bag line while I stand there with “Raymond” the security guard as he pokes through my things and barks at me to keep the stroller off the moving sidewalks.

10:10 In through the front gates!  I collect all the tickets and put them in alphabetical order.  Much easier to tell whose is missing.

10:15 Pass Suess land to the chorus of “We wanna ride Cat in the Hat! We wanna ride One Fish Two Fish!”  These clamors come from girls who only said all the way in the car that they wanted to ride the Hippogriff coaster.  Harry Potter land is our priority, and we want to do it early before it gets busy.  However, we do stop to meet the Grinch, because there appears to be ZERO line.  The girls attack-hug him in the middle of a rant, and his heart grows two sizes.  The resulting photo is irresistible, so we spend 20 minutes negotiating the ridiculously complicated photo-buying process.

11:00-Arrive in Hogsmeade. Whoops, it’s already busy.  Bugger.  Let the big kids head to Dragon Challenge coaster since the line is not long.  Casadie and I walk through the line just to check out the props like the Weasley’s Car and the Triwizard Tent.  Casadie constantly fact-checks me to make sure I’m not actually trying to compel her to get ON the ride.

11:20-Fynnlie is grumpy and hard to manage at the moment.  Reaching into the “Raymond-the-Security-Guard-disturbed-pile-o-stuff” in the bottom of the stroller, we can’t find her cup.  It was carried securely and safely to the car, and then NOT placed securely or safely in the diaper bag.  *sigh*

11:45-The family, minus Bill and Fynnlie have successfully ridden the Flight of the Hippogriff coaster.  We go to park the stroller by the castle so we can all enter Hogwarts to ride the signature ride.  It’s warmer now, and most of us have shed our coats and placed them in the stroller.  Before going into the giant concrete castle, I check the phone to see if our friends have arrived in the park.  No messages, so in we go!

  At some point in the queue you go from inside back to the outside, and through rafters and bars, you can get a glimpse of the sky. It appears to have changed.  “Honey..those look like rain clouds.  It’s not supposed to rain right?”

12:00-Ride the best ride in the Universe. Ever.  Alex and Beth ride first, while Bill and I wait with the girls in the baby swap room. Fynnlie keeps trying to grab/disconnect some poor disabled child’s oxygen bottle.  This room is far too small for the amount of people that must stuff themselves in it.  Bonus though, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone is playing.  Bill and I get to go next, after giving the big kids dire warnings about letting Fynnlie switch off that kid’s lifeline.

12:20-Exit 8 people into a gift shop that is wall-to-wall people. Seriously.  There are as many people entering the store via the exit as there are people exiting the ride and into the store.  It’s a madhouse.  Strangely, most of these people are wearing ponchos.  And they’re wet.  Oh Snap.  It rained.

12:25.  Correction, it’s raining.  Now.  Drizzling.  It’s gotten much colder, and the little girls are pathetically shivering and rubbing their arms, and we are drawing attention as those horrible parents who didn’t put coats on their kids.  We rush to the stroller, slipping every five steps.  (Wizarding World needs non-skid, says former theme park manager)  Start stuffing kids in coats.  “My coat is all wet!” “Yuck!”  “I fell down again!”  I’m annoyed with one of my kids who darts in front of me and acts as though they’re going to go off with another family, so I hook the back of their shirt and begin dragging them back to us.  That’s when I realize, with horror, that it’s NOT MY KID.  I let him go and he throws me this half annoyed, half terrified look over his shoulder.  I jokingly tell his Mom “Oh, hey..I just almost took your kid with me..so sorry for the attempted kidnapping!”  She pretends to think it’s funny, but then quickly gets her family away from us.

At the risk of making this the longest post ever, I could continue to detail my day.  Suffice it to say, the rest of the day was cold, wet and miserable, weather-wise.  Our friends messaged us that they were extremely intelligent and decided to go home.  We will reschedule.  We, the Kimballs, decided to tough it out since we were already there and spent the rest of the day and evening having a fairly marvelous time despite the weather.  Overall, although each move from place to place was fairly chaotic and filled with headcounts, we had a wonderful time.  We left the two parks at 8pm, and drove home, wondering how Bill and I managed to work for 10 years in theme parks, and how after only a year and a half away, our bodies can’t even manage 9 hours.  Every joint hurts and will hurt worse in the morning. Can’t wait.  We grabbed some inexpensive take-out and headed home.  15 trips from the car to the house with pizza, breadsticks, sleeping children, diaper bags, Nintendo DS’s, cameras, and bags of purchases and we declared the day a success!

Casadie's Adventure

Take one girl who has loved to perform for adoring audiences since day one, add one mother who continues to search high and low for fun things for the kids to do, regardless of how busy the family is, toss in one very enticing radio ad, and stir.   Once things are good and mixed, put them in the oven for an hour, and there you have it! One custom-made, super-fun, adventurous journey for the Kimball Family!

Casadie has been charming acquaintances from the day she was born.  So much personality and love packed into one blond-haired, blue-eyed girl.  She adores meeting new people, and pulling them tightly into her circle of friends and family.  Meet her once, and within the 15 minute window of time that you talk to her, she'll be so adoring of you, that goodbyes are met with a pouty lip, a demanded hug and a promise that we will see each other again soon.  At home, she is a singer, a dancer, a miniature Lucille Ball, Carole Burnette and Lady Gaga all wrapped up in one package.  She belts out "Big girls don't cry", "Pokerface" and "Girls just wanna have fun" anytime you ask.  And mostly, during the times you don't ask.

She's been taking gymnastics now for a year.  Not regular, run-of-the-mill gymnastics, but Cirque-style gymnastics.  She's learning Rola Bola, Aerial Silks, Trapeze, Tightwire, etc, in addition to the standard trampoline and tumbling.  Orlando Circus School is one of her favorite places to be.  During the rehearsals for her Summer Camp performance, I watched her be one of the most mature, prepared performers.  She wasn't necessarily the best at any one particular art, but she knew everyone else's cues, and where everyone was supposed to be.  I watched her perfect her stage-whisper, helping the smaller children stay focused and on task without being overtly bossy.  She became a real leader.  I was proud.

So when the radio ad aired, inviting kids with an interest in acting to come audition for Adrian R'Mante's Celebrity Actor's Camp, I thought, "Why not?."  She didn't know why I got her out of bed at 7am one morning, or why I thrust a Shel Silverstein poem in front of her and told her to try and remember some of it.  It was several paragraphs, and she memorized it in less than an hour.  We arrived at the hotel, and saw dozens of other children, most dressed up so fancy with their make-up and hair all fixed.  We arrived in jeans and t-shirt.  We (I) felt a little conspicuous, maybe I didn't have a clue how to do this, and how to help my daughter succeed.  I sighed, and resigned myself to the idea that nothing would come of it, and we would just enjoy our morning together.

After a rousing introduction to the camp by a very energetic Adrian R'Mante, Casadie met briefly with a talent scout.  She said she loved gymnastics and that she was learning Russian.  Some notes were scribbled onto her form, and she was sent to the audition line.  I wasn't allowed to follow my baby into the curtained area where she would audition for Adrian, and waited nervously on a nearby chair.  In what seemed like nanoseconds, she was out, smiling and full of energy.  "He liked me! He said I was cute!"  I pestered her for more details, but she said she did her poem reading for him and he asked her some questions, and she couldn't remember them..  We were given some information about the camp, and told that if she was selected, she would get a call the next morning.

Casadie at the first day audition for the camp

The next day, I overslept, but didn't see any missed calls on my phone.  I jumped into the shower, and of course, that's when the talent scout called.  She left no message, and I spent the next couple of hours dialing her number every 15 minutes or so.  I worried that it was a one-call per household thing...you snooze, you lose kind of deal, and I had blown it with my desire for shampooed hair.  Stupid hygiene!  When finally I received a callback, they let me know that Casadie was invited to the camp, and that Adrian had really enjoyed her audition.  We were told to return to the hotel later that day for paperwork.  Bill and I sat and had a long talk about the cost, and did some preliminary research online.  Scams for children's acting gigs are rampant, and though we were confident this was not a scam, we wanted to be sure.  For every successful venture, you are bound to find naysayers online, and of course we did.  But we overwhelmingly found more positive comments than negative.  Adrian's camp is up-front about fees, and what they are covering.  He makes no promises about the children finding work, just promises that with hard work, and the chance to prove themselves, his camp will help them get a foot in the door.  He teaches both the children and the parents how to play the game, how to treat acting like a business, and what steps to take to get into this world. 

Casadie and Adrian R'Mante

Casadie and Adrian R'Mante

Although we could afford only the basic-level camp, we enrolled Casadie with enthusiasm.  Our philosophy is that a little learning is better than none, and any education you get, is exactly what you make of it.  My goal was for her to have fun, and for me to learn how to negotiate the world of agents and opportunities for her.  We got exactly what we paid for.  Casadie had an absolute BLAST at all of her camp sessions, and Adrian gave Bill and I tons of tips and solid information about how to go about getting headshots, how to have them printed, and how to distribute them.  Casadie also got to spent entire days working alongside and learning from her favorite celebrities, such as Adrian himself, Cameron Goodman, David DeLuise, Chester See and more.  We were sad to see the camp come to an end, but really, it was only a beginning.  She auditioned in front of an LA Casting Director, and some local agents.  She's already received a callback from a local agent, and we will be meeting with them this week to discuss representation.

Casadie getting last-minute tips from Adrian before her audition in front of several key people!

Moments after her audition.  She LOVES the feeling of performing and she came out dancing and running into our arms!

Just this week, she also received a call she was highly anticipating.  At the end of each regional camp across the country, Adrian selects a handful of campers to potentially attend an "Invitation-only" camp in Hollywood.  In July and August 2011, Casadie will spend 3 weeks learning the business from the inside out, and it will culminate in a performance in front of more LA-based agents and casting directors.  She will work with a number of working actors and celebrities, increasing her acting network.  Actors like to work with children they've worked with before, so these kids get offers routinely.  This thing could truly take off for her.  If it doesn't, she have an absolutely priceless memory for the rest of her life.  Figuring out the money and logistics is the next step.  In addition to a very reasonable fee for a 3 week camp in Los Angeles, there are flights, lodging and incidental expenses to consider.  In a period of time where we're still trying to make ends meet while recovering from our layoffs, this might seem like a frivolous expense, but in reality, we know there's a short window here of opportunity, her interest and desire and her age level.  When this is easily affordable for us in a few years, they may not be casting blond-haired, blue eyed 13 year olds.  This might very well be the window that God opened when he closed the door on our careers.  Maybe I found homeschooling as a way of being more flexible and open to opportunities.  Maybe Bill and I are meant to manage our lives in a way that puts the children first, rather than our financial security.  Who knows? 

I'm very dedicated to making sure that if it does take off, Casadie knows normalcy in her life.  I will not raise the next Lindsey Lohan, I will not let acting usurp family.  Homeschooling and layoffs have brought our family closer and more connected, I will not allow anything to undo that.  But as I sit here, I can't help but hope that one day, I'll get to go sit in a theater, buy a tub of popcorn and a large soda, and sit down and watch my very talented, very lovable daughter act out her dream.

Yard Sale Queen

As hobbies go, holding yard sales qualifies as pretty lame.  So, let’s just call it an ‘alternate income source’.  Well, that’s also kind of lame.  Hmmm,  well anyway, I’m sort of addicted.  I’ve always been financially challenged, so the occasional burst of spending money after a sale is very motivating.  My sales, even on their worst days tend to net me at least $300, and have even reached the stratospheric levels of $1200-$1400!  

That isn’t to say though, that holding yard sales is easy.  It can come with quite a bit of hassle.  As someone who abhors hassle, I’ve come up with some tried and true tips for minimizing drama and problems!

1. Have a couple of willing teenagers to help.  Or, at least have teenagers that you can FORCE to help.  Threaten them with eviction, or use the ever-available “I gave birth to you, so you’ll darn well take a shift out here so I can get a shower” guilt trip.  Just make sure to educate them on the prices you expect, so you don’t hear “Well, I *think* my Mom wants .50 for that limited edition Hummel figurine, I’m not sure.  Yeah, ok...a quarter will be fine.”  Also, make sure your helpers have enough street smarts to know when a person asks about a “rack”, that they don’t assume the guy is talking about the shoe rack, and instead begins walking away with your husband’s $200 storage rack that you’re using as temporary shelving.  For a dollar.

2. Sell ANYTHING.  Nothing is too weird, or even gross.  I once had a box of junk a friend gave me, which I dumped onto a table without sorting.  An hour later, a woman asked “How much?” while holding aloft a Ziploc bag of those small, pink, foam hair curlers.  With hair still attached.  .25 cents, baby!  And I didn’t even feel guilty!

3. Speaking of stuff, GET SOME.  Get so much out on your tables and lawn that people can’t possibly see it all from their car, and they’re forced to get out and shop.  This way, if nothing else, your adorable 7 year old has a guaranteed customer base for her snack shack.

4.  If you don’t have stuff, call in the cavalry.  Your friends are usually happy to do a little spring cleaning of their own, without the hassle of going to drop off at Goodwill.  I’ve been blessed with friends who have dropped off clothes, toys, stuffed animals, pots, pans, and even furniture! They claim I’m helping them, but as always, I’m touched, because their cast-offs have sent my son to Japan, and after our dual layoffs, made car payments, kept our lights on, helped Santa make it a nice Christmas morning, and even put food on our table.

5. Learn local haggling guidelines.  In the Northwest, where I’m from, if you priced something at say…$5.00, the customers would generally offer half, maybe rounded down to $2.  Then, they’ll good-naturedly engage is in the negotiations, and end up paying $3 or so.  Everyone’s happy.  In Florida, apparently a $5.00 item is only really worth 50 cents, and if you don’t immediately agree to this dramatic price drop, then the item, your house, your outfit, your hairstyle, landscaping, children, pets, the slant of your driveway and even the way you stand are the most disgusting thing/s they’ve ever had the misfortune of encountering.  This is actually them being nice, though.  If you happen to counter with “Um..well, no, but I’d go $4.00”, you’ll be hit with a volley of insults and muttered proclamations about your parentage.  My advice here is to stick to your guns.  I’d much rather GIVE the item to charity after my sale is over than sell it for a quarter, well below even it’s minimal yard-sale value.  I have to have standards.

6.  Have bags on hand.  But keep them hidden.  Apparently, yard sales have become just an outdoor version of Target. The customers noted above, when they DO score a passable bargain from me, always *demand* a bag.  If I happen to not have stocked myself up in plastic bags before my sale, I’m hit with the same litany of disgusted looks again.  Go green, people!  I’m surprised they haven’t started asking for receipts and frequent shopper discount cards.  Laminated.

  

7. Finally, if you buy items for your children’s snack shack, buy things you’ll enjoy eating.  When it’s slow, don’t be surprised when those big blue (green/brown/hazel) eyes come batting and they say “Mom, would you like to buy a soda? Nobody is coming to my snack shack.” *blink, blink*  “Yes, dear, someone gave me a quarter for that couch earlier today, and Alex got a quarter for my Hummel figurine.  I’ll take a diet coke.”

The response?  “Mommy. *eye roll*  The sodas are $1. Don’t start with me.”

With these handy tips, you too can have a productive and successful yard sale.  Just call me when you’re done, and I’ll offer you a quarter for all of your leftovers.  Just be sure it comes in a bag.

100 Thankful Things-Part 4!!

You've waited patiently, and here is your reward! The last 25-ish random-stream-of-consciousness items that I'm Thankful for.  Now, obviously, the disclaimer here is that this certainly does not represent ALL that I'm thankful for, not in the least...it just seemed prudent to stop at 100.  I hope everyone had a safe and happy Thanksgiving with all the people in their lives worth being Thankful for.  I was missing a lot of wonderful people on my list, but I definitely had a good day with my peachy wonderful husband, and my 6 bountiful blessings.  Now..onto Christmas!

76. For homeschooling again.  Just the fact that I now have a project, a vision, a goal.  That morphs and changes.  This is EXACTLY what I needed to stay interested.  I’m world-famous for a great idea, being very creative with it, jumping in with both feet and then abandoning it.  My peachy husband and I have fought about this.  Homeschooling is not just a project, it’s become a passion and a way of life.  I have soapbox rants I never thought I had, goals for my girls that I never understood, and I get to justify my compulsive obsession with children’s books.

77. For fat fingers and tiny keyboards.  I absolutely love trying to type my blog entries on the netbook, and having my fat fingers launch the internet, or deliver my mouse some-where mid-document.  It’s fun, and yes, I’m being snarky again.

78. For my year 2000 Wedding to my fabulous husband.  Yes, we paid too much, and probably could have gone a lot cheaper, but I have nothing but beautiful memories of a very unique location, everything exactly the way we envisioned it, and not one single regret or “wish we’d done this.” Again…worth every penny.

For a husband that agrees with me about point number 78.  It’s adorable to me that he continues to recognize symbolic things that remind him of our wedding, or makes sure to download our wedding music to my iphone, etc.  I fall in love with him a little bit more every day, even 10 years later.

79. For my brother.  We’re not always as close or chummy as I’d like to be, but I loved having him for my baby brother.  Yes, I forced him to act out the role of Sandy while I belted out Annie show tunes, but I know he’s forgiven me.  I think.  Anyway, he’s grown into a very wonderful man, solidly professional, loves his nieces and nephew and is a wonderful husband.  I’m very proud of my Jer-Bear.

80. For Camp Silver Creek and camp songs.  Fried Ham, Louise the elephant, Wake up Stupid birds, and When I wake up in the morning live in my heart and memory along with Barges, Within our Power, and Kum by ya (I know, spelling is way off, but’s 2:30 am on Thanksgiving morning and I thank you for forgiving me for being too lazy to look it up.)  I regret that my kids have not had the same chance to experience your wonderfulness, Silver Creek, but I’m hoping to change that soon.

81. For my sister-in-law, Rita.  She knows why.

 

82. For the potential Adrian R’Mante saw in Casadie, and for her experiences at Celebrity Actor’s Camp.  Again, something expensive, but that was worth every penny.  The fact that I got to drive David Deluise and Chester See to dinner in my truck was a complete bonus.  I am the coolest Mom on the planet to my 7 year old, and that is worth a million bucks.

83. For you, my faithful reader.  Almost done.

84. For board games.  Another obsession.  Oddly enough, we don’t play them nearly enough to justify my obsession with them, but nothing has more potential for fun than a brand-new, or new-to-us board game.  I have a whole closet full of them, and a giant wish-list for more.  I would open a game store.  Or write a board game blog.  Or something.  Anything to actually give me the reason or excuse to buy more.  I probably should play the ones I’ve got first.  At least that’s what the peachy husband says.  I need local friends with similar interests.  Accepting applications below.

85. For junk mail.  Not just any old junk mail.  I am a dedicated Oregon-born environmentalist, so the random postcards for political ads, drain-cleaning, roof and gutter work, Heat-Mizer units..whatever..no way.  But a damn good stack of catalogs?? Bring ‘em on.  I am a list-maker, and I will dog-ear every single page and make a wish list for gifts, homeschool, myself, etc.  Have I ever actually ordered anything from a catalog? Nope.  But the *potential* for the perfect item exist in those pages.

86. For Aunts and Uncles.  Again, not always as close as I’d like to be, but I love them just the same. 

87. For my Mother-in-law.  Kudos, Madame.  You raised one fine individual.  No criticism from me, except to say, please come visit your grandchildren.  You’ll love them, and they are dying to know you.  It’ll make your son happy too.  The wonderful man you gave to me.

88. For People to People’s trip to Japan for my son.    You put him on a plane to Japan. Which will FLY ACROSS AN OCEAN. You panic and hyperventilate a little bit.  They return him to you, two weeks later, in perfect health, with 1200 pictures and a lifetime’s worth of memories.  You vow that every one of your six children needs this experience.  You do the math..and then you start the panicking and hyperventilating all over again.

89. For Fynnlie.  You’ve earned the label “Happiest Baby on Earth”, and you’re beginning to bring a little sass and attitude to the table.  Bring it on, toots.  Just charm us with that adorable smile while you’re at it, and the world (as we are able) will be handed to you on a platter.  Your butt-scoot instead of a crawl was the most amazing addition to baby lore in this house.  I will tell that story to your future husband and all your future children.  Be warned.

90. For Harry Potter land. I suppose I could have put this in the Harry Potter category waaaaay back in the beginning of this list, but it really deserves it’s own spot.  Walking into Hogsmeade makes me speechless.  Or Teary.  Or both.  Well done, Universal, for showing Disney how a land is made with love.

While we’re in Hogsmeade, I’m thankful that Brad Starr was at the Forbidden Journey ride to share in my exultation at finally getting on the ride.  It was well worth the humiliation of initially being too large to ride, and then having Brad and my husband there to cheer me on, (and to let me ride again as many times as I wanted) made it the BEST experience possible!

91. For Dawson.  We miss you, you beautiful Lilac-point Siamese cat.  I’ve never had a cat that had true personality, at least not when interacting with me.  I could hold you like a baby, you were smarter and more charming than most children.  Why you scooted out the door after 10 years with us, we’ll never know..but I hope you’re well and happy.  I hope you and your crazy crossed eyes are making another family happy, and I hope we’ll meet again someday in this life or in another.  If pets can’t come to heaven, I’m not going.

92. For my Dad teaching me defensive driving.  I have amazing “tough Dad” soundbites to deliver to my teens as they learn to drive such as “Every other driver is an idiot.  Assume that.” Or “It’s not against the law to be first off the line. Punch it.”  I’m an awesome driver.  Though I yell a lot, my Mom says..and she also says I get that from him.  Oh well.  They’re all idiots out there.

93. For Gray’s Anatomy, Desperate Housewives, and LOST.  Some very favorite all-time shows.  More McSteamy please.  Can Taylor Lautner be a patient soon? A naked one?  He’s legal now, so it’s not as creepy that I adore him.

94. For my wedding ring.  Bill, that peachy husband that I’ve told you about, bought me the most beautiful ring I’ve ever seen.  Suits me perfectly.  I’ve been without it a while, but recently lost enough weight to wear it again.  I love declaring my marital status via a flamboyant wave of the hand.  Watch me glitter, beyotch!

95.  For Humor.  For the ability to whip myself up into such a giddy frenzy that I become the main attraction.  Those times where I am wheezing, snorting, hyperventilating, rolling on the floor are some of the most exhilarating cut-loose times in my life.  Who has the ability to do that to me? Gina, Katie, Bill, and my brother Jerry, and honorary brother Shane.   Mr. Bean with Gina in an empty theater around 1998 or whenever it came out= pee your pants funny.  Jerry and Shane playing a mock improv version of the 25,000 pyramid..OMG.  Love you all

96. For finally getting the guts to write a blog and put my innermost “me” out there for you to approve or disapprove, dissect and critique.  This is a huge step for me.  *golf clap*

97.  For the lottery.  Someday, my sweet, we will be one.  Then, this blog becomes a book, self-published at the publishing house I purchase.  By phone.  From my chartered cruise.  Surrounded by my friends who read my blog. Or facebook.  and Garth Brooks. It'll be a nice day.

98.  For having enough ‘stuff’ that I can sit around and be annoyed by how much ‘stuff’ we have.  Toys, scrapbooking supplies, enough DVD’s to entertain the masses, enough clothes that doing laundry only once every two weeks is actually conceivable, etc.  We live in excess, and need to cut it down, but I am grateful that whatever I want or need, I can generally get.

 
99. For everyone who thinks they were forgotten or left off this list.  You weren't.  But it IS 2:30am, and I may not be able to think of anything particularly profound or witty about you and our relationship at the moment.  So forgive me, and I will be thankful for YOU in my head and heart.

             100 For silly word processing programs that push the last paragraph over a full indent because it can’t know to put the 3-digit ‘100’ a little more to the left for consistency.  Yes I’m being snarky.

100 Thankful Things-Part 3

Here's part three...enjoy!  Wow..look at those cool Amazon ads popping up.  I wonder if you do your Amazon shopping via the link from my site, if that would generate any income.  Hmmmm.  :)

52. For awesome little netbooks won at work.  For cool leaders who try to make a crappy job tolerable or even fun with prizes and recognition.  It works.  I can haz the ipad next please?  Or the Volkswagen Jetta?  I DID sell 7 today.  Just sayin’.  Top seller of 100+ reps today. 

53.  For cool friends who advertise my blog and tell people to read it and click on occasional ads.  Every little bit helps and feeds my ever-needy ego.

54. For my husband.  Somehow, I found the one man on the planet who understands my  particular brand of crazy, and I married him.  He’s amazing.  When he’s not immersed in his own particular brand of crazy..but I love him then too.  He’s peachy.

55. For my layoff.  I don’t always feel this way, but it’s Thanksgiving week, and my new employer realizes that family time is important, and valuable and they sent us home to be with our loved ones.  With 4 days off.  Disney says “Suck it up and be grateful that you work for the number one theme park in the world.” Choke on a turkey bone today, Mickey.  You used to close Disneyland on the occasional day of the week and holiday.  That would be SOO refreshing now, but it will never happen.

         56.  For bowling.  You class-less, white-trash past time.  You are always fun when I finally get around    to playing, you never change, except for the occasional technological advancement to the scoring system.  My kids are always enthralled, and yet you smell like beer and cigarettes.  It’s a conundrum.

57.  For the Jungle Cruise.  Because in the above item, I wanted to put “It’s a paradox”.  I miss you, Skippers.  Also Pirates, Carpet salespeople *snickers at name*, Riverboaters, Hoppers, and Mansion maids and butlers.  If there was a job I’d take for the rest of my life, it would be as your leader.  With certain people tarred and feathered and away from Disney, of course.  Let me know when this happens, please.

58. For quiet test trips on the Riverboat.  For Robert Brauchler, who was always willing to chat with me, but also respected my silence when I NEEDED that quiet test trip.

59. For Emmalie.  Always always always a big personality.  Whether Angry, Happy or Sweet, she does it ALL the way.  She was a cruise ship souvenir, the best one I ever had.  She’s a loving big sister, a member of the Harry Potter-Lady Gaga-Percy Jackson fan club.  She’s got a gravelly voice, which reminds me of a 73 year old smoker, but she’s 3.  Always a crack up.

60. For Adam Lambert.  Because when singing along with “If I had you”, this 39 year old, fat mother of 6 feels cool and hip.  Life is a party, it’s ecstasy!

61. For finding awesome deals.  Koda the ride-on dinosaur: $400 retail.  Not selling, so discounted to $200.  Two weeks before Christmas, $99.  SCORE 1 for the Kimball parents for waiting!  The girls promptly renamed him Cupcake and someone rides him nearly every day.  His battery lasted almost 2 years.  He’s now a silent dinosaur, because we are too lazy to change the battery.  I resolve (is it that time already??) to figure out how to change his battery this weekend.

62. For Discovery Toys.  Oh, DT, what a love affair I’ve had with you for 18 mind-blowing years.  There are at least 15 toys in this house that belonged to Alex, and then Bethanie, and then Casadie  and then Delanie, and then Emmalie and now or soon to be Fynnlie’s.  You make amazing things and I love you.  Even when I can’t really sell your toys to people, because inexplicably, they’d rather pay for junk at wal-mart or on craigslist and have it last 6 weeks.  You get what you pay for, and you are worth EVERY. DAMN. PENNY.   www.discoverytoys.net/jenniferkimball

63. For the Wicked soundtrack.  You introduced me to broadway soundtracks that are not Disney, and the “Defying Gravity” song was my F-you to Disney, sung at the top of my lungs for weeks on end after my layoff.  It’s also my inspirational ‘get-ready-for-an-interview’ accompaniment.

64. For Tillamook Cheddar Cheese.  Oh, you glorious brick of curdled milk, you.  HOW do you manage to be heaven on earth?  In your shredded form, I’d ditch the peachy husband and marry you.  Because I can’t, I’ll settle for occasionally completely over-indulging and shredding nearly a pound of the stuff and eating it with Ruffles.  Or stuffed all by itself into a taco shell.  Or even sprinkled over spaghetti.

65. A special thank you for Albertson’s for carrying Oregon’s Tillamook Cheese.  Just the one type, the one I love.  Don’t you DARE close your last damn store in Orlando.  I will bring some hate and hurt down on you.  Seriously.  I need me some cheese.

66. For Irene and the gang.  Pregnant with my 6^th baby, nobody throws you a baby shower at that point.  Apparently, it seems greedy.  My philosophy is..keep the gifts, but let’s at least celebrate the new life.  What do you people put in your baby books under “shower” for subsequent children?  “Not worth welcoming to the world?”  Seriously.  Irene and the gang threw me a lovely shower for Fynnlie, complete with hand-made scrapbook pages to put in an album for her.  Amazing.  Very very touched.  To the core.

67. For friends with skills.  Michael Curatolo Photography…amazing work.  He volunteered to do last-minute, desperately needed headshots for Casadie, even though his specialty is lingerie models and fashion photography.  Imagine taking your 7 year old to a photographer that specializes in nearly naked women.  He was a champ, did a lovely job and I adore the pictures of Casadie.  For Terri, also a friend, who pitched in with Casadie’s hair and make-up.  You rock, folks!

68. For the Mickey’s Not So Scary Halloween Party Parade.  Best. Music. Ever. For. A. Disney. Parade.

69. For best friends.  For those no longer in contact, to those newly reconnected, and to those who have lasted nearly a lifetime and those of recent years.  You all have loved me at various points in my life, at various levels of crazy and been the crutch or sidekick I needed at the time and forevermore.

70.  For my ex-husband.  Honestly…thank you for being such an over-the-top asshole for 98% of our marriage.  Want to know why I thank you for that?  Because it allowed me to recognize Bill for what he is, simply the best man on the planet.  Otherwise, I would have taken him for granted, and that would NOT have been cool.  (Also, he did supply me with two beautiful kids, so I guess I can get un-snarky here for a minute and be genuine about that.)

71.  For my current health.  Scary stuff in 2008 definitely makes me appreciate that as much crap as I’ve done to my body over the years..(poor diet and exercise…not drugs, people..sheesh), I’m remarkably healthy and lucky. 

72. For my amazing chiropractor.  I am NOT exaggerating when I say that he completely restored my quality of life.  I envisioned myself in a wheelchair by 45, and spent a great deal of my 30’s enduring extreme pain getting in/out of chairs, cars, toilet stalls, up stairs, down stairs, walking etc.  Not only is he a miracle worker, he’s a good friend and I adore him. 

73.  For Mountains.  I’m not joking when I tell my telemarketing customers from the Northwest that I want them to wave at Mt. Hood for me.  I miss my damn mountains.  All the mountains here have roller coasters running through them, and that’s only cool for a minute.

74. For friends from around the world.  Working at Disney brought me into contact with the most diverse group of people I could ever hope to know.  From college students to retirees, from Ohio to Britain to China to Australia...my world is smaller now.  Or bigger...not quite sure how that works.   But Amy..there's always an opening as a Kimball daughter for you.  Or as a daughter-in-law...the boy is legal now! 

75. For my husband.  I monetized my blog, and he became intrigued, and he’s currently obsessed with trying to decipher all the lingo to placing ads, etc.  I’m not allowed to ask you to click on ads, but for the love of god, do Bill a favor and think about it.

Also, leave me some dialogue below.  Any of these Thankful things on YOUR list?  Any crazy things YOU'RE thankful for that you can share?  Let's make this a fun forum for all of you to play in when you stop by!