Yard Sale Queen

As hobbies go, holding yard sales qualifies as pretty lame.  So, let’s just call it an ‘alternate income source’.  Well, that’s also kind of lame.  Hmmm,  well anyway, I’m sort of addicted.  I’ve always been financially challenged, so the occasional burst of spending money after a sale is very motivating.  My sales, even on their worst days tend to net me at least $300, and have even reached the stratospheric levels of $1200-$1400!  

That isn’t to say though, that holding yard sales is easy.  It can come with quite a bit of hassle.  As someone who abhors hassle, I’ve come up with some tried and true tips for minimizing drama and problems!

1. Have a couple of willing teenagers to help.  Or, at least have teenagers that you can FORCE to help.  Threaten them with eviction, or use the ever-available “I gave birth to you, so you’ll darn well take a shift out here so I can get a shower” guilt trip.  Just make sure to educate them on the prices you expect, so you don’t hear “Well, I *think* my Mom wants .50 for that limited edition Hummel figurine, I’m not sure.  Yeah, ok...a quarter will be fine.”  Also, make sure your helpers have enough street smarts to know when a person asks about a “rack”, that they don’t assume the guy is talking about the shoe rack, and instead begins walking away with your husband’s $200 storage rack that you’re using as temporary shelving.  For a dollar.

2. Sell ANYTHING.  Nothing is too weird, or even gross.  I once had a box of junk a friend gave me, which I dumped onto a table without sorting.  An hour later, a woman asked “How much?” while holding aloft a Ziploc bag of those small, pink, foam hair curlers.  With hair still attached.  .25 cents, baby!  And I didn’t even feel guilty!

3. Speaking of stuff, GET SOME.  Get so much out on your tables and lawn that people can’t possibly see it all from their car, and they’re forced to get out and shop.  This way, if nothing else, your adorable 7 year old has a guaranteed customer base for her snack shack.

4.  If you don’t have stuff, call in the cavalry.  Your friends are usually happy to do a little spring cleaning of their own, without the hassle of going to drop off at Goodwill.  I’ve been blessed with friends who have dropped off clothes, toys, stuffed animals, pots, pans, and even furniture! They claim I’m helping them, but as always, I’m touched, because their cast-offs have sent my son to Japan, and after our dual layoffs, made car payments, kept our lights on, helped Santa make it a nice Christmas morning, and even put food on our table.

5. Learn local haggling guidelines.  In the Northwest, where I’m from, if you priced something at say…$5.00, the customers would generally offer half, maybe rounded down to $2.  Then, they’ll good-naturedly engage is in the negotiations, and end up paying $3 or so.  Everyone’s happy.  In Florida, apparently a $5.00 item is only really worth 50 cents, and if you don’t immediately agree to this dramatic price drop, then the item, your house, your outfit, your hairstyle, landscaping, children, pets, the slant of your driveway and even the way you stand are the most disgusting thing/s they’ve ever had the misfortune of encountering.  This is actually them being nice, though.  If you happen to counter with “Um..well, no, but I’d go $4.00”, you’ll be hit with a volley of insults and muttered proclamations about your parentage.  My advice here is to stick to your guns.  I’d much rather GIVE the item to charity after my sale is over than sell it for a quarter, well below even it’s minimal yard-sale value.  I have to have standards.

6.  Have bags on hand.  But keep them hidden.  Apparently, yard sales have become just an outdoor version of Target. The customers noted above, when they DO score a passable bargain from me, always *demand* a bag.  If I happen to not have stocked myself up in plastic bags before my sale, I’m hit with the same litany of disgusted looks again.  Go green, people!  I’m surprised they haven’t started asking for receipts and frequent shopper discount cards.  Laminated.

  

7. Finally, if you buy items for your children’s snack shack, buy things you’ll enjoy eating.  When it’s slow, don’t be surprised when those big blue (green/brown/hazel) eyes come batting and they say “Mom, would you like to buy a soda? Nobody is coming to my snack shack.” *blink, blink*  “Yes, dear, someone gave me a quarter for that couch earlier today, and Alex got a quarter for my Hummel figurine.  I’ll take a diet coke.”

The response?  “Mommy. *eye roll*  The sodas are $1. Don’t start with me.”

With these handy tips, you too can have a productive and successful yard sale.  Just call me when you’re done, and I’ll offer you a quarter for all of your leftovers.  Just be sure it comes in a bag.