You know those over-the-top moments from sitcoms that just don’t happen in real life? Ponder Lucille Ball stuffing chocolates in her mouth in I Love Lucy, or Joey and Chandler chasing the bus down the street after they left Ross’s baby on the bus? Things like that never happen right? Let me share with you one such moment from the Kimball household.
About 5 years ago, so keep in mind I only had 3 children back then. Life should have have been calm, idyllic, wondrous. *Snort* I can’t even WRITE that with a straight face. So, about 5 years ago, I came home from work in the afternoon. Bill was going to pick up the baby (Casadie) from daycare, so I just went straight home to spend a few nice moments with my older children. I brought in the mail, and stood in the kitchen going through it as the kids came downstairs. We chatted while I sorted junk from bills, none of us aware of what was truly going on in our house. In our kitchen. Where we were standing. Completely oblivious.
Out of the corner of my eye, I sensed movement. I think I looked once, and then back at the mail. I would like to believe that I didn’t actually see it, but really, I think I DID see it, but my brain refused to cooperate. So it took another several long seconds before the movement prompted me to look again. THIS time, my brain believed. I understood what was happening. The ENTIRE KITCHEN AREA WAS FILLED WITH SUDS. I turned, stared open-mouthed until the kids caught on and also turned to look. We stood there in complete and utter shock. Stared at suds that came out from the dishwasher, and slithered along the floor. It had filled an area about 8 feet wide, and had come about 7 feet out from the dishwasher. The suds were roughly 4 feet high. I am not joking. This means I had approximately 224 cubic feet of soapsuds. In my kitchen. And growing. This is not something one just fixes. First, you panic. Quietly, so as not to scare the kids. Then, you bust out laughing, because you realize it’s straight out of a sitcom, and this will make a great blog post someday when you have a blog. 5 years in the future. Or at least, you can make Stacy, your friend at work, nearly fall out of her chair with laughter when you tell the story the next day.
Next, you turn to your daughter, who very sweetly offered earlier in the day to run the dishwasher for you. “Sweetie..did you start the dishwasher?”
“Yes, Mom..I did.”
“So..sweetie..what did you DO?..I mean..that 300 square feet of suds isn’t normal, you understand..”
“I don’t know Mom..I just put the dishes in, filled the soap dish with Dawn, and pushed start.”
“You. Used. Dawn.”
“Yes, the dishwashing liquid.”
“You. Used. Dawn. Liquid. Dawn.”
“Yes.”
“@#$%^&&*$!!! YOU NEVER USE DAWN!! OH MY GAWD.”
“Ok..Mommy is calmer now. Let’s just clean this up. Alex. Go get all the towels from upstairs.”
THIS is when my son chooses to respond very matter-of-factly with “Why should I have to get any towels? Bethanie is the one who did it?!”
Now, when your kitchen contains 400 square feet of suds (I might be exaggerating by now), there’s not a lot of time for a calmly composed lecture of shared familial responsibility, partnership, coming together in a crisis, lending a helping hand to one another, etc.
There IS time to scream. “ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? THE KITCHEN IS FLOODING WITH SOAP SUDS, AND YOU ARE UNWILLING TO HELP??? GET ME THE @#$^$@@ TOWELS NOW SON!”
Much hilarity and enjoyment of a kitchen full of soapsuds was lost amongst this little temper tantrum of mine. So a word of warning: If you are a 13 year old teenage boy, and your Mom seems pretty calm about the kitchen being filled with soap suds, tread lightly. Your Mom is probably not as calm as she seems, and everyone working together quickly may help her to stay sane.
Second word of warning. When your Momma told you that liquid soap is not appropriate for a dishwasher, she was right. It took 17 empty loads to finally clear the dishwasher of the residue and get back to normal washing.
If only Bill had walked in the door at that moment and said in his best Ricky Ricardo voice..”Oh Jeeeeennniffferrrrrrrr!”
4 comments:
Hi, this is Beth. And if you're wondering my motivation for the Dawn incident, I think I had seen a commercial about a dishwasher soap that looked liquid and decided that since Dawn's liquid, it would work as well. Obviously, I was sorely wrong.
I laughed so hard I woke up my napping little one and I might have even peed a little. Hi-LAR-ee-US!!
Yes, I totally remember this story and told you to write it down....memories of the Brady Bunch...ahhh, who would have known how many Kimballs would actually follow that it WOULD make almost a Brady Bunch???? Keep them coming! I love it!!! Miss you and hugs to alllllll!!!!
Stacy..keep the STORIES coming..or the Brady-Bunch-like-procession-of-Kimball-Kids???? I need clarification here.
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