100 Thankful Things-Part 4!!

You've waited patiently, and here is your reward! The last 25-ish random-stream-of-consciousness items that I'm Thankful for.  Now, obviously, the disclaimer here is that this certainly does not represent ALL that I'm thankful for, not in the least...it just seemed prudent to stop at 100.  I hope everyone had a safe and happy Thanksgiving with all the people in their lives worth being Thankful for.  I was missing a lot of wonderful people on my list, but I definitely had a good day with my peachy wonderful husband, and my 6 bountiful blessings.  Now..onto Christmas!

76. For homeschooling again.  Just the fact that I now have a project, a vision, a goal.  That morphs and changes.  This is EXACTLY what I needed to stay interested.  I’m world-famous for a great idea, being very creative with it, jumping in with both feet and then abandoning it.  My peachy husband and I have fought about this.  Homeschooling is not just a project, it’s become a passion and a way of life.  I have soapbox rants I never thought I had, goals for my girls that I never understood, and I get to justify my compulsive obsession with children’s books.

77. For fat fingers and tiny keyboards.  I absolutely love trying to type my blog entries on the netbook, and having my fat fingers launch the internet, or deliver my mouse some-where mid-document.  It’s fun, and yes, I’m being snarky again.

78. For my year 2000 Wedding to my fabulous husband.  Yes, we paid too much, and probably could have gone a lot cheaper, but I have nothing but beautiful memories of a very unique location, everything exactly the way we envisioned it, and not one single regret or “wish we’d done this.” Again…worth every penny.

For a husband that agrees with me about point number 78.  It’s adorable to me that he continues to recognize symbolic things that remind him of our wedding, or makes sure to download our wedding music to my iphone, etc.  I fall in love with him a little bit more every day, even 10 years later.

79. For my brother.  We’re not always as close or chummy as I’d like to be, but I loved having him for my baby brother.  Yes, I forced him to act out the role of Sandy while I belted out Annie show tunes, but I know he’s forgiven me.  I think.  Anyway, he’s grown into a very wonderful man, solidly professional, loves his nieces and nephew and is a wonderful husband.  I’m very proud of my Jer-Bear.

80. For Camp Silver Creek and camp songs.  Fried Ham, Louise the elephant, Wake up Stupid birds, and When I wake up in the morning live in my heart and memory along with Barges, Within our Power, and Kum by ya (I know, spelling is way off, but’s 2:30 am on Thanksgiving morning and I thank you for forgiving me for being too lazy to look it up.)  I regret that my kids have not had the same chance to experience your wonderfulness, Silver Creek, but I’m hoping to change that soon.

81. For my sister-in-law, Rita.  She knows why.

 

82. For the potential Adrian R’Mante saw in Casadie, and for her experiences at Celebrity Actor’s Camp.  Again, something expensive, but that was worth every penny.  The fact that I got to drive David Deluise and Chester See to dinner in my truck was a complete bonus.  I am the coolest Mom on the planet to my 7 year old, and that is worth a million bucks.

83. For you, my faithful reader.  Almost done.

84. For board games.  Another obsession.  Oddly enough, we don’t play them nearly enough to justify my obsession with them, but nothing has more potential for fun than a brand-new, or new-to-us board game.  I have a whole closet full of them, and a giant wish-list for more.  I would open a game store.  Or write a board game blog.  Or something.  Anything to actually give me the reason or excuse to buy more.  I probably should play the ones I’ve got first.  At least that’s what the peachy husband says.  I need local friends with similar interests.  Accepting applications below.

85. For junk mail.  Not just any old junk mail.  I am a dedicated Oregon-born environmentalist, so the random postcards for political ads, drain-cleaning, roof and gutter work, Heat-Mizer units..whatever..no way.  But a damn good stack of catalogs?? Bring ‘em on.  I am a list-maker, and I will dog-ear every single page and make a wish list for gifts, homeschool, myself, etc.  Have I ever actually ordered anything from a catalog? Nope.  But the *potential* for the perfect item exist in those pages.

86. For Aunts and Uncles.  Again, not always as close as I’d like to be, but I love them just the same. 

87. For my Mother-in-law.  Kudos, Madame.  You raised one fine individual.  No criticism from me, except to say, please come visit your grandchildren.  You’ll love them, and they are dying to know you.  It’ll make your son happy too.  The wonderful man you gave to me.

88. For People to People’s trip to Japan for my son.    You put him on a plane to Japan. Which will FLY ACROSS AN OCEAN. You panic and hyperventilate a little bit.  They return him to you, two weeks later, in perfect health, with 1200 pictures and a lifetime’s worth of memories.  You vow that every one of your six children needs this experience.  You do the math..and then you start the panicking and hyperventilating all over again.

89. For Fynnlie.  You’ve earned the label “Happiest Baby on Earth”, and you’re beginning to bring a little sass and attitude to the table.  Bring it on, toots.  Just charm us with that adorable smile while you’re at it, and the world (as we are able) will be handed to you on a platter.  Your butt-scoot instead of a crawl was the most amazing addition to baby lore in this house.  I will tell that story to your future husband and all your future children.  Be warned.

90. For Harry Potter land. I suppose I could have put this in the Harry Potter category waaaaay back in the beginning of this list, but it really deserves it’s own spot.  Walking into Hogsmeade makes me speechless.  Or Teary.  Or both.  Well done, Universal, for showing Disney how a land is made with love.

While we’re in Hogsmeade, I’m thankful that Brad Starr was at the Forbidden Journey ride to share in my exultation at finally getting on the ride.  It was well worth the humiliation of initially being too large to ride, and then having Brad and my husband there to cheer me on, (and to let me ride again as many times as I wanted) made it the BEST experience possible!

91. For Dawson.  We miss you, you beautiful Lilac-point Siamese cat.  I’ve never had a cat that had true personality, at least not when interacting with me.  I could hold you like a baby, you were smarter and more charming than most children.  Why you scooted out the door after 10 years with us, we’ll never know..but I hope you’re well and happy.  I hope you and your crazy crossed eyes are making another family happy, and I hope we’ll meet again someday in this life or in another.  If pets can’t come to heaven, I’m not going.

92. For my Dad teaching me defensive driving.  I have amazing “tough Dad” soundbites to deliver to my teens as they learn to drive such as “Every other driver is an idiot.  Assume that.” Or “It’s not against the law to be first off the line. Punch it.”  I’m an awesome driver.  Though I yell a lot, my Mom says..and she also says I get that from him.  Oh well.  They’re all idiots out there.

93. For Gray’s Anatomy, Desperate Housewives, and LOST.  Some very favorite all-time shows.  More McSteamy please.  Can Taylor Lautner be a patient soon? A naked one?  He’s legal now, so it’s not as creepy that I adore him.

94. For my wedding ring.  Bill, that peachy husband that I’ve told you about, bought me the most beautiful ring I’ve ever seen.  Suits me perfectly.  I’ve been without it a while, but recently lost enough weight to wear it again.  I love declaring my marital status via a flamboyant wave of the hand.  Watch me glitter, beyotch!

95.  For Humor.  For the ability to whip myself up into such a giddy frenzy that I become the main attraction.  Those times where I am wheezing, snorting, hyperventilating, rolling on the floor are some of the most exhilarating cut-loose times in my life.  Who has the ability to do that to me? Gina, Katie, Bill, and my brother Jerry, and honorary brother Shane.   Mr. Bean with Gina in an empty theater around 1998 or whenever it came out= pee your pants funny.  Jerry and Shane playing a mock improv version of the 25,000 pyramid..OMG.  Love you all

96. For finally getting the guts to write a blog and put my innermost “me” out there for you to approve or disapprove, dissect and critique.  This is a huge step for me.  *golf clap*

97.  For the lottery.  Someday, my sweet, we will be one.  Then, this blog becomes a book, self-published at the publishing house I purchase.  By phone.  From my chartered cruise.  Surrounded by my friends who read my blog. Or facebook.  and Garth Brooks. It'll be a nice day.

98.  For having enough ‘stuff’ that I can sit around and be annoyed by how much ‘stuff’ we have.  Toys, scrapbooking supplies, enough DVD’s to entertain the masses, enough clothes that doing laundry only once every two weeks is actually conceivable, etc.  We live in excess, and need to cut it down, but I am grateful that whatever I want or need, I can generally get.

 
99. For everyone who thinks they were forgotten or left off this list.  You weren't.  But it IS 2:30am, and I may not be able to think of anything particularly profound or witty about you and our relationship at the moment.  So forgive me, and I will be thankful for YOU in my head and heart.

             100 For silly word processing programs that push the last paragraph over a full indent because it can’t know to put the 3-digit ‘100’ a little more to the left for consistency.  Yes I’m being snarky.

100 Thankful Things-Part 3

Here's part three...enjoy!  Wow..look at those cool Amazon ads popping up.  I wonder if you do your Amazon shopping via the link from my site, if that would generate any income.  Hmmmm.  :)

52. For awesome little netbooks won at work.  For cool leaders who try to make a crappy job tolerable or even fun with prizes and recognition.  It works.  I can haz the ipad next please?  Or the Volkswagen Jetta?  I DID sell 7 today.  Just sayin’.  Top seller of 100+ reps today. 

53.  For cool friends who advertise my blog and tell people to read it and click on occasional ads.  Every little bit helps and feeds my ever-needy ego.

54. For my husband.  Somehow, I found the one man on the planet who understands my  particular brand of crazy, and I married him.  He’s amazing.  When he’s not immersed in his own particular brand of crazy..but I love him then too.  He’s peachy.

55. For my layoff.  I don’t always feel this way, but it’s Thanksgiving week, and my new employer realizes that family time is important, and valuable and they sent us home to be with our loved ones.  With 4 days off.  Disney says “Suck it up and be grateful that you work for the number one theme park in the world.” Choke on a turkey bone today, Mickey.  You used to close Disneyland on the occasional day of the week and holiday.  That would be SOO refreshing now, but it will never happen.

         56.  For bowling.  You class-less, white-trash past time.  You are always fun when I finally get around    to playing, you never change, except for the occasional technological advancement to the scoring system.  My kids are always enthralled, and yet you smell like beer and cigarettes.  It’s a conundrum.

57.  For the Jungle Cruise.  Because in the above item, I wanted to put “It’s a paradox”.  I miss you, Skippers.  Also Pirates, Carpet salespeople *snickers at name*, Riverboaters, Hoppers, and Mansion maids and butlers.  If there was a job I’d take for the rest of my life, it would be as your leader.  With certain people tarred and feathered and away from Disney, of course.  Let me know when this happens, please.

58. For quiet test trips on the Riverboat.  For Robert Brauchler, who was always willing to chat with me, but also respected my silence when I NEEDED that quiet test trip.

59. For Emmalie.  Always always always a big personality.  Whether Angry, Happy or Sweet, she does it ALL the way.  She was a cruise ship souvenir, the best one I ever had.  She’s a loving big sister, a member of the Harry Potter-Lady Gaga-Percy Jackson fan club.  She’s got a gravelly voice, which reminds me of a 73 year old smoker, but she’s 3.  Always a crack up.

60. For Adam Lambert.  Because when singing along with “If I had you”, this 39 year old, fat mother of 6 feels cool and hip.  Life is a party, it’s ecstasy!

61. For finding awesome deals.  Koda the ride-on dinosaur: $400 retail.  Not selling, so discounted to $200.  Two weeks before Christmas, $99.  SCORE 1 for the Kimball parents for waiting!  The girls promptly renamed him Cupcake and someone rides him nearly every day.  His battery lasted almost 2 years.  He’s now a silent dinosaur, because we are too lazy to change the battery.  I resolve (is it that time already??) to figure out how to change his battery this weekend.

62. For Discovery Toys.  Oh, DT, what a love affair I’ve had with you for 18 mind-blowing years.  There are at least 15 toys in this house that belonged to Alex, and then Bethanie, and then Casadie  and then Delanie, and then Emmalie and now or soon to be Fynnlie’s.  You make amazing things and I love you.  Even when I can’t really sell your toys to people, because inexplicably, they’d rather pay for junk at wal-mart or on craigslist and have it last 6 weeks.  You get what you pay for, and you are worth EVERY. DAMN. PENNY.   www.discoverytoys.net/jenniferkimball

63. For the Wicked soundtrack.  You introduced me to broadway soundtracks that are not Disney, and the “Defying Gravity” song was my F-you to Disney, sung at the top of my lungs for weeks on end after my layoff.  It’s also my inspirational ‘get-ready-for-an-interview’ accompaniment.

64. For Tillamook Cheddar Cheese.  Oh, you glorious brick of curdled milk, you.  HOW do you manage to be heaven on earth?  In your shredded form, I’d ditch the peachy husband and marry you.  Because I can’t, I’ll settle for occasionally completely over-indulging and shredding nearly a pound of the stuff and eating it with Ruffles.  Or stuffed all by itself into a taco shell.  Or even sprinkled over spaghetti.

65. A special thank you for Albertson’s for carrying Oregon’s Tillamook Cheese.  Just the one type, the one I love.  Don’t you DARE close your last damn store in Orlando.  I will bring some hate and hurt down on you.  Seriously.  I need me some cheese.

66. For Irene and the gang.  Pregnant with my 6^th baby, nobody throws you a baby shower at that point.  Apparently, it seems greedy.  My philosophy is..keep the gifts, but let’s at least celebrate the new life.  What do you people put in your baby books under “shower” for subsequent children?  “Not worth welcoming to the world?”  Seriously.  Irene and the gang threw me a lovely shower for Fynnlie, complete with hand-made scrapbook pages to put in an album for her.  Amazing.  Very very touched.  To the core.

67. For friends with skills.  Michael Curatolo Photography…amazing work.  He volunteered to do last-minute, desperately needed headshots for Casadie, even though his specialty is lingerie models and fashion photography.  Imagine taking your 7 year old to a photographer that specializes in nearly naked women.  He was a champ, did a lovely job and I adore the pictures of Casadie.  For Terri, also a friend, who pitched in with Casadie’s hair and make-up.  You rock, folks!

68. For the Mickey’s Not So Scary Halloween Party Parade.  Best. Music. Ever. For. A. Disney. Parade.

69. For best friends.  For those no longer in contact, to those newly reconnected, and to those who have lasted nearly a lifetime and those of recent years.  You all have loved me at various points in my life, at various levels of crazy and been the crutch or sidekick I needed at the time and forevermore.

70.  For my ex-husband.  Honestly…thank you for being such an over-the-top asshole for 98% of our marriage.  Want to know why I thank you for that?  Because it allowed me to recognize Bill for what he is, simply the best man on the planet.  Otherwise, I would have taken him for granted, and that would NOT have been cool.  (Also, he did supply me with two beautiful kids, so I guess I can get un-snarky here for a minute and be genuine about that.)

71.  For my current health.  Scary stuff in 2008 definitely makes me appreciate that as much crap as I’ve done to my body over the years..(poor diet and exercise…not drugs, people..sheesh), I’m remarkably healthy and lucky. 

72. For my amazing chiropractor.  I am NOT exaggerating when I say that he completely restored my quality of life.  I envisioned myself in a wheelchair by 45, and spent a great deal of my 30’s enduring extreme pain getting in/out of chairs, cars, toilet stalls, up stairs, down stairs, walking etc.  Not only is he a miracle worker, he’s a good friend and I adore him. 

73.  For Mountains.  I’m not joking when I tell my telemarketing customers from the Northwest that I want them to wave at Mt. Hood for me.  I miss my damn mountains.  All the mountains here have roller coasters running through them, and that’s only cool for a minute.

74. For friends from around the world.  Working at Disney brought me into contact with the most diverse group of people I could ever hope to know.  From college students to retirees, from Ohio to Britain to China to Australia...my world is smaller now.  Or bigger...not quite sure how that works.   But Amy..there's always an opening as a Kimball daughter for you.  Or as a daughter-in-law...the boy is legal now! 

75. For my husband.  I monetized my blog, and he became intrigued, and he’s currently obsessed with trying to decipher all the lingo to placing ads, etc.  I’m not allowed to ask you to click on ads, but for the love of god, do Bill a favor and think about it.

Also, leave me some dialogue below.  Any of these Thankful things on YOUR list?  Any crazy things YOU'RE thankful for that you can share?  Let's make this a fun forum for all of you to play in when you stop by!

100 Thankful Things- Part 2

24.For digital cameras.  I used to take 6-7 rolls of film per major event/vacation day.  Bless you, you 10+ megapixel creation and your endless take/delete/store/upload capabilities.  Shutterbugs like me rejoice.

25.For scrapbooking.  A hobby beyond compare.  Creative, but can be mindless fun when I need it…I get to look at fun, beautiful, meaningful pictures in a creative way forever, and justify “me” time while creating the layouts.  I love midnight crops.

26.For Piktails scrapbook store and Debbie.  You are a junkie’s dream.  The methlab of scrapbooking.  You have everything.  Or can get it.  And teach me how to use it.  And you let me work there.  I love you.

27. For Harry Potter.  You came into my life as my oldest children were beginning to veer off into their own interests.  We can always connect over a good stupefy spell, plot point, or midnight opening.  Thank you for continuing to entertain, so my little girls can know you in the same way.  I’d adopt you, Harry.  Can you save some Obliviate spells for me and a few selected targets??

28. For blue-ray technology. My husband is extremely hard to shop for.  You give me new opportunities.  May the lord bless the smart ones with newer technologies so I always have the chance to upgrade dear hubby’s collection of superhero movies.

29. For my mother.  You are amazing.  You are always there.  You lend an ear, a hug, a wallet, etc.  We never want for anything that is truly needed.  My children are blessed to have you and your frequent flier card in their lives. 

30. For my own grandparents.  At nearly 40, I have been extraordinarily lucky to know my grandparents (save one) from childhood into my adult years.  I have lost 3 grandfathers at this point in my life, and I’m lucky to have loved them enough to feel true suffering at their loss.  I am grateful to still have my wonderful grandmothers, and love them endlessly.  I’ll tack on some specific thanks here, for my Grandpa Gardner.  No longer with us, he taught me many amazing things, like how to find and enjoy a securt (secret) trail, how to grow a giant pumpkin, how liberry is actually pronounced and that babies fall of the sky during a baby shower, and that’s how you pick yours out.  Thanks for giving me that dance, and for telling me to follow my dream and my man to Florida.  If you hadn’t given me your blessing, and promised to be my safety net, I might not have gone.

31. For my dear husband.  He is still driving, and letting me write.  He’s still peachy.

32. For his earlobes.  He will hate me for saying this, but tugging his earlobe is a massive stress reliever for me.  I am thankful that he recognizes the need to stand still and let me do it.

33. For Bethanie.  A teenager, she is anything but typical.  She has stepped up this year, and (mostly) without complaint, babysits endlessly for free so that Bill and I can concentrate on getting our finances back in order.  She deserves a medal.  After she finishes the dishes.  Oh Cinderellaaaa!

34. For the IRS.   Thank you for auditing us just two months after dual layoffs.  Our $1200 bill for a  small mistake in 2007 was just the whipped cream topping we needed.  Yes, I’m being snarky.  You sons of bitches.   

35. For Cakewrecks.  I can waste DAYS on that site.  Ah-mazing.  Pee-your-pants hilarious.  She’s a nerd, a geek, a lover of cake.  She’s ME.  And yet not me.  Cakewrecks.com.  Get some.

36. For I-4 being mostly empty at 11:12pm on the night before Thanksgiving.  At least from Orlando to Lakeland.  We thought we’d take hours to get Alex picked up. 

37. For USF.  I gave you my son, you are turning him into a strong, independent, social creature I’ve never met before.  Kind of joking, but honestly…I’m impressed.  He loves it, and is wildly successful there.  High Five, Bulls.

38. For my 7^th telemarketing sale today. (Wednesday)  Aimee so-and-so..I salute you.  You paid $99 for your vacation to Orlando, and it bumped me up a tier in my commissions, earning me an extra $350 bucks.  I love you.

39. For Christmas lights.  You crazy kids that get them up the day after Halloween are kind of cool.  I enjoy them.

40. For Casadie.  She is unique.  There’s a quality there that you can’t put your finger on.  She’s magnetic.  Everyone loves her, and she loves everyone.  I’ve never seen anything like it.  It’s fun to watch. 

41. For the support Thomas Hawes and Leora Gallamore gave me at Guest Correspondence.  I loved that job, but wanted to spread my wings.  Without their support, I would never have met the wonderful Cast Members that I led in the Call Center or in Adventureland/Liberty Square. 

42. For Walery’s Pizza in Salem, Oregon.  Perfection on a pizza pan.  You were cheap when I lived next to you and was poor.  Dinner on many nights was 6.99.  Now that I’m far away, and poor, I’d still pay $100 for one good, hot pepperoni pizza.  Stay open forever.  Pretty please.

43. For cousins.  I had only one sibling, but lots of playmates several times a year.  My own kids lack cousins, probably a reason that we have so many.  We have a built-in extended family for down the road.  My grandchildren will eventually have trillions of cousins/2^nd cousins, etc.  Yay for giant Christmas get-togethers!

44. For my husband and his similar philosophy on our family size: “Why not?” *chuckle*  (Honestly.  That IS how the conversation goes.)  Bwaahaaahaha.

45. For Viksingers Jazz Choir in High School.  Hated high school, but for those two years, at 6:45 in the morning, I was part of something cool.  We rocked.  (or jazzed..whatever)

46. For my ridiculous imagination.  I can take a small event possibility and extrapolate it out to the extreme.  Like how when I win a giant lottery..YOU have an invitation to join us on our chartered cruise.  This may or may not involve a special exclusive performance by Garth Brooks, who will do it because he’s in love with me, but knows that I am happily married, so will do it just to please me and love me from afar.  Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner will join him on stage, shirtless.  All staring at me, intensely.

47. For my husband.  Who gets a chuckle out of me staring at a shirtless Robert Pattinson/Taylor Lautner.  Who says “You’re going to buy that magazine aren’t you?” and shakes his head.  He’s peachy.

48. For the sign on I-4 on the way to Tampa that says: “Alexander Street.”  Because I’m going to Tampa to pick up MY Alexander, this always makes me giggle.  I’m usually giddy with exhaustion, but I do crack myself up.

49. For Delanie.  Beautiful girl, thoughtful girl, matter of fact girl.  Dramatic Girl, Shy girl.  My one-of-a kind dark-haired girl.  My Delanie-cakes.  Your concern about me being fat is both touching and insulting.  Grow out of that, would you? Mommy loves you, but she also loves Spaghetti with butter.  Sue me.

50. For Spaghetti with butter.  Almost forgot that one.  Have to thank my Mom for serving it to me as a child.  It’s a simple pleasure, and makes me officially a cheap date.  Albeit a picky one.

51. For you, dear reader.  Halfway there! (and then some!)  More to come tomorrow!

100 Thankful Things-Part 1

I so admired my friends that had the time and the mental acuity to diligently post their “thankful” things over the last month or so.  Some were faithful and did it every single day, some let it add up and did a few at at time.   I am not always as thankful as I should be.  I do try to see the positive, but my mother will tell you, that from a very young age, I was either up or down.  It’s feast or famine with me, a veritable roller-coaster ride.  When there’s a bump in the road, I can malinger over it for days, and yet, in the next instant, be lovable, excited and so gosh dang adorable you might as well call me a muppet.  It’s what gives me my charm.  Or so I’m told.  So I’ll do my best to stay on topic and just tell you what I’m thankful for, so sit back after a good Turkey dinner, unbutton the top button and hopefully see a little bit of this list in your life.

          1.  That my computer is working today and seems to be letting me save this document so far.  That’s a pretty big win on some days.

2. That I have a job.  Many don’t, I didn’t for a long while, and although it’s a hateful, miserable job and 95% of the people I talk to hate me to the very core, it’s presently doing a marvelous job of helping us slowly get back on our feet.  So, although I can’t complain about that, I will from time to time.  A job this miserable deserves equal treatment.

      3.  That I’m being recognized as someone with potential at this miserable job.  I love the company, love the people, and when I achieve the rank of leader, I’ll be more than able to help my agents deal with the stress.  Why? Because I’ll have been there.  I’ll understand.

1.       4. For IPhone.  Never have I felt my phone was such a lifeline until I got my iPhone.  I would DIE without it.  I’m sure of it.  As if it had electrodes wired from the phone to a pacemaker in my heart.  Phone lost..game over  for Jenn.  I’m pretty sure this has to do with me being able to access facebook whenever I want.

1.      5.  For Facebook.  Not only did this serve as my tin can on a string to stay in touch with my cast members after my layoff, but it now keeps me entertained at the above-mentioned miserable job.  Friend me!

1.       6. For Packrat. This is related to facebook, but deserves its own thank you.  It’s a game,  one that I was/am addicted to.  I’m dedicated to making sure I never miss a collection.  It’s ridiculous, but it’s mindless fun.  Now, I share this mindless fun with my husband and daughter, who keep me up-to-date when I can’t.

1.      7.   For homeschooling.  Never have I spent so much time with my children.  (How did I manage to have 6?? Where did they all come from??)  I enjoy trying to figure out what will inspire each child the most and finding a way to implement it.  Yes, I sometimes throw worksheets at them to keep them quiet, but they love worksheets.  Yes they do.

8. For Lady Gaga’s Pokerface.  For the endless giggles that watching and listening to a 7, 4, 3, and 1 year old sing “I’m not bluffin’ with my muffin” or “Cherry Mine! Cherry Mine! Poker face!” inspires.  I salute you, Madam.

       9. For the fact that my old minivan is running well today.  Yes, just today.  The Expedition seems to be having issues, so the old faithful sienna will have to make the trip to Tampa to get my son from college for Thanksgiving.  “I think  I can, I think I can”

1.      








10. For children’s books.  There’s nothing so wonderful as a giant stack of children’s books to sort through.  To smell, to turn the pages, to reveal the story a little bit at a time without glare, without batteries, etc.  New, young parents…please don’t ever underestimate the value of holding a child in your lap and making Grover voices while reading the “Monster at the End of the Book.”  Ever been a hero? You will be when you read that.  

.       11.For the new, Giant Toys R Us at Milennia Mall.  Just heaven.  Love it.

.       12. For my husband.  He’ll pop up here again and again, I’m sure, but at the moment, I love that he’s ok with driving while I write this list in relative silence.  He’s peachy.

.       13. For my cool dining room table booth.  This came from a friend, Carol, so I’ll say here that I also thank her for everything over the years.  My girls are outfitted in stylish clothes, and a good 95% of these were hand-me-downs from her two adorable granddaughters.

       14. For Orlando Circus School, and specifically Andrei  and Victor.  They have ignited a passion in Casadie for Cirque arts, that I could never have known existed.  They throw and launch my baby through the air in ways that could be imminently dangerous at any moment.    That they are generous people who have allowed Casadie to continue even when it’s financially difficult (impossible) to continue.  Spasibo my friends.

       15. For 5 beautiful daughters.  Each of them aggravates me in different ways on different days.  Each is a unique and wonderful addition to the family.  You make me more because you exist.

.       16. For my handsome son, Alex.  You may be the only boy, but you fill the role wonderfully.  You make us proud.  We’ve had our rough spots, and I nearly beat the Asperger’s out of you, but you’ve blossomed.  When you invent time travel, can I have a couple of trips though, just to enjoy you as a baby..back when it was just you and me against the world? Those were nice times, my little fud-puddler.

1.       17. For Ikea.  Does this really need an explanation? Just walking in the door is exhilarating.  I need an unlimited credit card.  NOW.

1.       18. That we’ve managed to hang on to the house through our last couple of years of financial hardship.  Can you imagine trying to move 8 people, 1 dog and two cats in the midst of foreclosure?  Ugh.  This may not last, we’re not out of the woods yet, but I’m thankful  we’ve lasted as long as we have.

1.       19. For yard sales.  See number 18.  Yard sales are a big part of why 18 exists.  Selling stuff is hard, but fun.  Friends who bring their junk for us to sell help us far more than they realize.  Keep the junk coming folks.  Another sale is on it’s way!

1.       20. For you, dear reader.  You’re a 5^th of the way through! Yay!

1.      21. For sharpened pencils and adequate erasers.  For the Sudoku that gets me through my shift. For Bethany Glazewski for teaching me Sudoku.

.       22. For the word “Snarky”.  I love this word.  I am snarky.  Quit being snarky.  What a snarky bitch.  The computer/car/kid/television/phone/dvd player is being snarky.  It works anywhere.

       23. For being able to put a certain former supervisor in his place over the existence of the word snarky.  I know more obscure words than you’ve ever heard in your lifetime.  Yes, this is me being snarky.

Ok, I'm about a quarter of the way through.  Stay tuned on Friday for Part 2!  Enjoy your Turkey coma today! 

My Lovely Alphabet

There are many patterns in life, both natural and man-made.  Some are aesthetic, some are mathematical and some were designed with safety in mind.  Still others are so amazing in their accidental beauty, that it takes your breath away.

One area  in which you must be very careful in starting patterns is in naming your children.  You can get into dicey territory when you have more children than you originally thought you’d have, and you can run short on options.  My maiden name was Jeldness, and both my brother and I have names that start with ‘J’.  Jennifer Jeldness.  Just the alliteration of this name alone earned me nicknames like ‘Jenny Jello-head’ when I was a kid.  Not sure how my brother fared.  But how many more ‘J’s, that sounded good with Jeldness could my mother have come up with?  The Duggars went down this path back when they saw only a handful of children in their future.  But now that they are letting God decide their family size, do you know how hard it is to find 20 names in one letter that you like?  That sound good with ‘Duggar’?  Thank goodness they didn’t start with ‘Q’!

Our family pattern-alphabetical names-started out innocently enough.  For those of you who don’t know my family, they are, in order: Alex, Bethanie, Casadie, Delanie, Emmalie and Fynnlie.  Alex and Beth were born during my tumultuous first marriage, and there were never any plans to expand that family.  Those names were alphabetical completely by accident..in fact, Bethanie’s name was almost Amberly.  But when Alex was little, I would always tease him gently, and say “Mommy should have another baby and name it with a ‘C’, so I’d have Mommy’s ABC’s  Cute, huh?

Cut to several years later, remarried to a wonderful man-with whom I’d happily repopulate the earth if ever a comet decimates the masses.  You’re welcome.  Anyway, this brilliant 1^st child of mine, with a photographic memory (at times) asks his newly pregnant mother “So, are you going to name it with a ‘C’ so you have your ABC’s?  And with that, a pattern was born.  We scoured name books, and found several wonderful options.  When we discovered our precious baby was a girl, we began to narrow the list.  Cassidy was a favorite name from a tv show, so we decided to go with it.  But it needed tweaking.  You see, there was one more pattern to deal with.  I loved that Bethanie’s name ended with ‘ie’, and thought because they were sisters, it would be cute if they matched.  (Boys names do not need to follow this IE pattern.) So I played with it.  Cassidie, Cassadie, Casidie, Casadie, and so on.

Casadie Kimball it was!

And then….

Delanie Kimball

Emmalie Kimball 

Both of these so easy.  One glance at a name book, they popped out and we knew it instantly.  They were both converted to their ‘ie’ versions easily and beautifully.  In fact, I mentioned in a previous post that E’s name was laughingly decided was we drove home from the hospital, with our brand new Delanie in the backseat.  “So, what’ll we name the next one?”  Erickson Kimball, or Emmalie Kimball. Done.  11 months later, Emmalie joined our family.  Eazy Peazy.  No need to go any farther, right?

August 2008.  Decisions to be made.  Go for it, or don’t.  Six is crazy, right? Well, I’d just been through a major hospitalization and surgery, and it was very scary stuff.  My employer’s reaction to my long-term absence was less than positive, and it was causing me to reprioritize my life.  We decided that our children were our greatest joy so why not invite MORE joy into our lives?  So, with decision made, the hunt was on.  “F”.  No disrespect to those out there with lovely and wonderful ‘F’ names.  There’s just a lack of contemporary, feminine ‘F’ options.  Even for boys, Frederick, Francis, Frank, just not our style.  We did like ‘Ford’ for a boy.  But I challenge you, my loyal readers, to find an “F” girls name that could end in an LY or IE.  It cannot be a nick-name as a first name “Frankie, Francie”  I had nearly 300 cast members at Disney involved in working on this. 

We even briefly considered abandoning the pattern…but thought about how the child would feel not being part of the plan.  I also had a friend who was adamant that our patterning was ridiculous, but he was equally appalled that we would consider abandoning it.  I heard this opinion daily.  He still can't say our baby's name without equal amounts of humor and disgust.  His repeated statement.  "I don't support that."

We finally settled on Fynnlie.  It was a choice widely debated, because Fynn is generally listed as a boy’s name, but we do adore it.  Finley is growing in popularity for girls, so it’s not such a stretch to imagine more Fynnlie’s in the world.  In fact, there was a Fynnlie, spelled the same way, born 2 hours after our Fynnlie, in the same hospital.  Our beautiful Fynnlie is a credit to the name.  Always happy, she has taken to the name with grace and finesse.  It suits her.

For those who ask me “So, are you going for a whole alphabet?”  Maybe I am.  Maybe I’ll be the first person on the planet to have 26 kids for the sole purpose of completing a pattern.  For your reading pleasure, here’s a quick rundown of some top choices for the rest of the alphabet.  There are holes here, and this does not obligate me to stick with these choices should the letter ever be needed.

G- (g) Gracie  (b) Grayson

H- (g) Hadlie or Harlie  (b) Harrison

I-

J- (g)Jacie  (b)Jackson or Jaxon or Jameson

K-(g) Kennedie

L- (g) Lexie  (b) Landon

M- (g) Macie, Mallorie, Maralie, McKinlie  (b) Michael

N- (g) Natalie  (b) Nicholas

O- (b) Owen

P- (g) Preslie  (b) Parker

Q- (g) Quinnlie  (b) Quinn

R- (g) Rylie  (b) Ray, Reese

S- (g) Sydnie  (b) Sawyer

T-  (b) Tristan

U-

V- (g) Valarie

W- (g) Whitnie  (b) William, Walker, Wyatt

X- (b) Xander

Y-

Z- (g) Zoie  (b) Zachary

There you have it.  Suggestions for adding to the list welcome! Leave me a comment with any patterns or traditions for naming your children that you’ve followed.  Was it a joy to follow, or did the need to name your child something specific cause you to pause?

Bethanie's Robot

As parents, I’m sure we all deal with unusual requests from our children.  From the simple, “I want all my food to be orange,” to the unfulfillable “Can we visit Barbie in her castle at the North Pole?”  Honestly, I remember circling EVERYTHING in the Sears Wish book, and handing it over proudly to my Mother.  Although, I’m not entirely clear on whether I was actually expecting everything in the book to be under the tree, or if I simply wanted to give Santa a good variety of wonderful things to choose from.

Heck, I’ll even admit that at 15, my best friend and I found a house for sale.  We absolutely felt it was the best idea in the whole world to have our parents BUY US THE HOUSE, and let us live there.  As roommates.  At 15 years old.  Our justification for this request was that we wouldn’t fight as much with our parents if we lived on our own.  We actually thought they’d go for this, or at least I did..maybe Kristin was more realistic.  It was a block and a half from her house, and we just KNEW that her Dad could adequately supervise us from a block away.  There was endless dramatic begging, pleading and reasoning for weeks on end, until the house finally sold to some other lucky buyer, presumably of legal age.  This made our request a moot point, and eventually we lost interest.  Now, to give me credit, I still maintain that at the $30,000-40,000 asking price of 1986, it would have been a good investment. *wink, wink*

Today, with my own kids, I see examples of these unusual requests, but not normally on such a grand scale.  I’ve been asked for two birthday cakes-with two different themes, which was indulgent of us, but doable.  Or we’re asked for another baby sister or even a brother, which is certainly conceivable. *snort*  I even get asked for daily field trips in our homeschool.  Unrealistic, certainly, but easily deferred and replaced by another fun activity.

My oldest daughter, though, dreams big~just like her mother.  15 now, she’s never easily defeated, is pleasantly persistent, and is certainly self-confident and assertive with what she wants.  One day, however, she stated she wanted to build a robot.  She came to me, all of 7 or 8 years old, with a sketch in hand. 

“Mom, I want to build a robot.”

“That’s wonderful Beth! I’m sure you will someday. You can do anything you set out to do when you grow up.” (We have a very supportive parenting philosophy.)

“I want to build it now.”

“Oh.  Ok sweetheart..why don’t you go borrow Alex’s Legos.  I can’t wait to see it!”

“No, I want to build a REAL robot.”~complete with eye roll and pleading voice.

“Oh, I see.  Well, sweetie, I’m not sure how to build a robot”                                        (keep in mind, this is before we homeschooled and I was clueless about ideas and resources.  If this question popped up now, I’d simply log into my yahoo account, slap a question on the homeschool board, and 15 minutes later, I’d have a list of parts, lesson plans, objectives and scope/sequence).

“Why don’t you draw me a picture of the robot you want to build, and we can research how to do it later?” *Big supportive Smiley Face.~see the beginnings of a homeschool Mom here?

“No, I want to build it NOW!”

“Ummm..honey..what do you want to build it out of?” *slightly less supportive, but hopeful for a reasonable response*

“Parts from the junkyard.  We can go buy them right now!” *you can practically hear the Duh Mom in this statement, can’t ya?

“Ummm” *facepalm* (keep in mind, it’s 6pm on a weekday, and Beth has never been to, or even SEEN a junkyard at this point in her young life.  I wouldn’t even know where to FIND a junkyard, nor would any amount of junkyard pieces fit in our then-tiny apartment.)

“Bethanie, sweetheart, we can’t go to a junkyard tonight.  They’re closed.  Why don’t you draw it exactly how you want it, and then build a model out of Play-Dough or Legos, and then we can make a list of what we need and go to the craft store, or the , junkyard in a few days.

“No, I wanna build it now.  Why can’t we go to the junkyard NOW?” (not angry, but honestly confused and pleading.)

“Beth.  It’s late and we don’t know what you need.”

“Wires and metal plates.  And some screws.”  Duh Mom strikes again

“Sweetie, that all seems very reasonable and correct, but first, it costs money.  Second, we don’t know how to connect it.  Third, we don’t have any tools.”

“But Dad has a hammer and a screwdriver.” 

*facepalm*   

This conversation goes on for 20 minutes with me alternately extraordinarily amused by her insistence and innocence, and being ridiculously exasperated at her unyielding persistence.

I’m positive it ended something like this:

“OH MY GAWD, we canNOT go to a junkyard right this minute, for heaven’s sake.  Now, either go draw me a picture of this super-cool robot, or go get your pajamas on-but just drop it ok?????!!??

Quietly: “Okaaay Mom, but can we go to the junkyard before school tomorrow?”

AAAAAAGGGHHHH!

Just think.  If my Mom had bought me that house, I could have used the equity to buy her some highly advanced robot kit from Radio Shack, along with some extra parts from the junkyard.  I think I’ll just blame all this on the stonewalling Kristin and I got from our parents.  Thanks a lot guys, for killing a little girl’s robot dream.  Good job.  *eye roll*

So, what's the craziest thing YOUR kids have ever requested?  Or did you have unreasonable demands as a child that you're only now recognizing as you grow up and understand your parent's point of view?  Anyone letting their 15 year olds live in a nearby home?

Sitcom Shenanigans

You know those over-the-top moments from sitcoms that just don’t happen in real life?  Ponder Lucille Ball stuffing chocolates in her mouth in I Love Lucy, or Joey and Chandler chasing the bus down the street after they left Ross’s baby on the bus?  Things like that never happen right?  Let me share with you one such moment from the Kimball household.

About 5 years ago, so keep in mind I only had 3 children back then.  Life should have have been calm, idyllic, wondrous.  *Snort*  I can’t even WRITE that with a straight face.  So, about 5 years ago, I came home from work in the afternoon.  Bill was going to pick up the baby (Casadie) from daycare, so I just went straight home to spend a few nice moments with my older children.  I brought in the mail, and stood in the kitchen going through it as the kids came downstairs.  We chatted while I sorted junk from bills, none of us aware of what was truly going on in our house.  In our kitchen.  Where we were standing.  Completely oblivious.

Out of the corner of my eye, I sensed movement.  I think I looked once, and then back at the mail.  I would like to believe that I didn’t actually see it, but really, I think I DID see it, but my brain refused to cooperate.  So it took another several long seconds before the movement prompted me to look again.  THIS time, my brain believed.  I understood what was happening.  The ENTIRE KITCHEN AREA WAS FILLED WITH SUDS.  I turned, stared open-mouthed until the kids caught on and also turned to look.  We stood there in complete and utter shock.  Stared at suds that came out from the dishwasher, and slithered along the floor.  It had filled an area about 8 feet wide, and had come about 7 feet out from the dishwasher.  The suds were roughly 4 feet high.  I am not joking.  This means I had approximately 224 cubic feet of soapsuds. In my kitchen.  And growing.  This is not something one just fixes.  First, you panic.  Quietly, so as not to scare the kids.  Then, you bust out laughing, because you realize it’s straight out of a sitcom, and this will make a great blog post someday when you have a blog.  5 years in the future.  Or at least, you can make Stacy, your friend at work, nearly fall out of her chair with laughter when you tell the story the next day.

Next, you turn to your daughter, who very sweetly offered earlier in the day to run the dishwasher for you. “Sweetie..did you start the dishwasher?”

“Yes, Mom..I did.”

“So..sweetie..what did you DO?..I mean..that 300 square feet of suds isn’t normal, you understand..”

“I don’t know Mom..I just put the dishes in, filled the soap dish with Dawn, and pushed start.”

“You. Used. Dawn.”

“Yes, the dishwashing liquid.”

“You. Used. Dawn.  Liquid. Dawn.”

“Yes.”

“@#$%^&&*$!!!  YOU NEVER USE DAWN!! OH MY GAWD.”

“Ok..Mommy is calmer now.  Let’s just clean this up.  Alex.  Go get all the towels from upstairs.”

THIS is when my son chooses to respond very matter-of-factly with “Why should I have to get any towels? Bethanie is the one who did it?!”

Now, when your kitchen contains 400 square feet of suds (I might be exaggerating by now), there’s not a lot of time for a calmly composed lecture of shared familial responsibility, partnership, coming together in a crisis, lending a helping hand to one another, etc.

There IS time to scream.  “ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? THE KITCHEN IS FLOODING WITH SOAP SUDS, AND YOU ARE UNWILLING TO HELP??? GET ME THE @#$^$@@ TOWELS NOW SON!”

Much hilarity and enjoyment of a kitchen full of soapsuds was lost amongst this little temper tantrum of mine.  So a word of warning: If you are a 13 year old teenage boy, and your Mom seems pretty calm about the kitchen being filled with soap suds, tread lightly.  Your Mom is probably not as calm as she seems, and everyone working together quickly may help her to stay sane.

Second word of warning.  When your Momma told you that liquid soap is not appropriate for a dishwasher, she was right.  It took 17 empty loads to finally clear the dishwasher of the residue and get back to normal washing.

If only Bill had walked in the door at that moment and said in his best Ricky Ricardo voice..”Oh Jeeeeennniffferrrrrrrr!”

A Day in My Life

I’m often asked “how do you do it ALL??”.  This questions is usually asked in hushed, breathless tones, with wide eyes, as though the cape fluttering behind my back is awe-inspiring, and must be treated with reverence.  If the questioner would look a little closer, however, they’d see the cape is slightly wrinkled, a button is missing from the left shoulder, there’s a pizza sauce stain in the middle, the dog chewed the bottom corner, it’s covered in cat hair, and it smells faintly of baby puke.  It DOES flutter nicely though in a stiff breeze.

The people who ask me that question, never seem to believe me when I say “I DON’T get it all done.  My house is a mess, I’m disorganized, and rather lazy.”  Here is the proof.

12:01am. Since a day technically starts at midnight, we’ll begin here.  I’m trying to get off of facebook, and finish watching a dvr’d episode of Grey’s Anatomy with my hubby.  As I’m still awake and on a buzz from my work shift, I’ll sometimes sit at the homeschool table and try to organize things for the next couple of days.  I’ll flit between that and facebook (I’m addicted) until 2am…..Ok..wait, that just seems like a pathetic start to a “day”, so let’s actually start in the morning.  It’ll be more inspiring.

8:00am. This is when my alarm is set.  Wake up to the pleasantries that are 105.1. Why oh why did they fire Erika??

8:03am Hit the snooze..9 more minutes!

8:12am  Alarm goes off again.  Appliance Direct Commercial is playing, UGH

8:12:01am SNOOZE that guy right off the airwaves

8:21am  Alarm goes off AGAIN. Dammit! Why can’t snoozes be set for 20 minutes? Why 9? That’s stupid!

8:23  Get up, listen at the door.  Silence, means the girls are still sleeping. Score!  Reset the alarm for 9:30am.  Just this once. I NEED the extra sleep today.

9:30am Alarm goes off –hit snooze immediately

9:39am OH ALL RIGHT! I’m UP!  Check to make sure Bethanie is up, she’ll get Fynnlie up and get breakfast started for the girls while Bill and I take our showers.

10:15am –Emerge triumphantly from the room, ready to begin the day! Find the living room in shambles, couch cushions on the floor serving as seats for the girls as they eat their cereal and/or waffles in front of the tv.  Today’s offering is the Karate Kid, (1980’s) version, and it’s near the end.  The girls, still in pajamas (agh!) gather to recreate the signature “crane” move, complete with hummed soundtrack and crowd effects.  I sit down to catch up on facebook and wait until it’s over.  Spoiler Alert** Daniel LaRusso wins the match!

10:30am Begin the first attempts to get the girls dressed. Bethanie has brought down clothes, and Emmalie/Delanie begin arguing which is theirs. They wear similar sizes, so they often want what the other is wearing.  The next 15 minutes will be spent asking, telling, demanding, trading, and threatening.

10:45am The girls are dressed! Wahoo! I am so surprised it’s finally happened, and mentally drained by this process, it’s time for a break.  Let’s upload some photos to facebook and see how many hits my blog has gotten!

11:15am.  Ok, time to get to work.  Call Casadie over to the homeschool table.  Call her again.  And again.  She loves her schoolwork, but she’s been captured by the Nintendo Monster, and is presently obsessed with her DS.  It’s time for spelling, and she’s finally arrived.  This quick list of words *should* take less than 10 minutes, but Fynnlie keeps coming over and reaching up to steal crayons or grab Casadie’s paper off the table.  Bethanie would normally get her for me, but she’s just left to walk to Freedom High for choir, so for now I’m on my own.  Bill’s running an errand to get some milk.  So it’s one spelling word-chase the baby.  Two spelling words-fish crayon out of her mouth, etc.

11:45am- Gather all the girls to read aloud about wasps and scorpions.  It’s on the schedule, and even though the girls find them gross, I feel like they should at least learn some basics about ‘gross things’.  So I forge ahead, over cries of “Ewwwww, that’s disgusting!!” or “I HATE WAPSES!” or “Mom, we’re getting those nests back outside, guess it’s time for Daddy to spray again?”

12:00pm “Yay paint!” The girls can smell paint for a mile away, and they swarm like, well, wasps! They love to paint, so the next several minutes are very pleasant.  Project days are always exciting

12:30pm Put paint away.  Spend the next 20-30 minutes cleaning paint off of paint brushes, tables, hands, baby’s face and mouth, the sliding glass door, and inexplicably, the ceiling fan. (Oh, who are we kidding..I’ve never cleaned the ceiling fan.)

1:00pm OH NO! Forgot about the laundry.  I was going to do 3 loads today.  Make my way upstairs (who builds houses with the laundry room upstairs?? Idiots)  *sigh*, just able to “fluff” the dryer.. Definitely not getting three loads done today.

1:15pm Pull crayon out of Fynnlie’s mouth

1:17pm Watch with relief as Fynnlie finishes her tantrum after pulling crayon out of her mouth.

1:25pm Flop into computer chair. There’s no time to get anything else done before I have to get ready for work, so I pop in a “Signing Time with Alex and Leah” in.  All of the girls enjoy learning sign, but Delanie is REALLY getting into signing.  Make mental note to try and find an actual class for her.

2:00pm Eat lunch.  Mental prep time for work.  Hard to prep oneself for complete and utter rejection and spewed hatred for 6.5 hours, but I do my best.

3:15pm Leave for work.  At the door, I must submit to Kissy-Huggy requests from 3 of my girls, try to keep Fynnlie from escaping, and bark last minute suggestions and requests at Bethanie for her evening with the girls.

4:00pm Work starts with group cheers, challenges to beat the dayshift, or the Las Vegas office, etc.  The adrenaline push is ON.

4:03pm- Log into my first call-answering machine

               2^nd call-“Dammit I’M ON THE DO NOT CALL LIST!!!”

               3^rd call- “Not interested!”

               .

               .

               .

               15^th call-“Not interested!” (see any patterns?)

              37^th call- *Might* be interested in Orlando..  “Is it free? If not, burn in hell!”

            102^nd call- Whoohoo..finally a sale!

10:30pm Beaten, exhausted, emotionally drained, I take my last call.  OF COURSE this will be the one pleasant, talkative Guest who indicates interest..so I stay on the line for 45 minutes.  More often than not, this will still not be a sale.  Yay for unpaid conversation with someone for 45 minutes. 

11:15-Drive home, grumpy and unfulfilled in my ‘career’.  At least the girls will be in bed when I get home and the house will be quiet.

11:30pm **Those mothers who get their children to bed by 8:00 need to look away (This means YOU Katie!)  Girls are in pajamas, but they convinced Bethanie to put in Percy Jackson and the Olympians at 10pm.  It’s still on, because they stopped and repeatedly played the Casino part, so they could dance to Lady Gaga’s “Pokerface”  At least when they get to bed by midnight, they sleep in, so they still get their 9-10 hours.  I promise.

12:00am- All girls down, and I’m tired, but still wired from my shift.  I’ll just watch a little Desperate Housewives while I check my email and facebook.  But I’ll definitely go to bed by 1am.  I promise.

2:15am- Turn off the computer monitor, set alarm for 8:00am.  Definitely going to get up at 8 tomorrow, so I can start early and hopefully get in a better pattern.

REPEAT-Endlessly.

**This representation of an actual day may vary.  No substitutions, or refunds.  

 

Family Planning-or Unplanning??

There is a dreaded moment in the life of every mother of a large family.  The moment where she has to begin telling everyone that the brood is about to enlarge. Again. Now, don’t get me wrong..it’s a joyous moment to the mother and to the father, and quite often to at least a fair number of the siblings-to-be.  The sharing of the news, however, quite often has a deflating effect, when the faces staring back at you begin to contort into various displays of shock, humor, horror, confusion and fear.  Fear, you say? How could any of the relatives display ‘fear’ when confronted with the happy news of a future grandchild/niece/nephew/godchild, etc.?

            “I now have to buy SIX Christmas presents?  Can I send just one Halloween card, or do I have to take a wheelbarrow into the post office to pick up the stamps?  I guess I better apply for a better frequent flier miles card, because I’m looking at six graduations, weddings, and who knows what else. I realize that I created a college fund for your first two…but we’re just hoping the rest go to community college, right?”  Yes, on some family members, you can actually see the written words of these fears travel across their eyes in the split second before they say “When are you going to STOP??” To this question, I usually just grin and say ominously..”I just don’t know….”   One friend, when told we were pregnant with number 6, just looked non-plussed and said "Of course you are."

            My personal favorite is “Don’t you know what causes this?”  I used to just mutter a bit of unintelligible apology, rather self-conscious in the face of this obvious lack of confidence in my biology knowledge.  I’ve developed a hard outer shell lately though, and now retort confidently “Yes, my husband and I needed a hobby..and boy are we enjoying this one!” or…”You know, you just find something you’re good at in life, and you just keep at it.  Repeatedly.  With vigor.”  So far, this has shut them up every single time.

            Even when the family is not taking a giant leap forward in number, one still has to contend with the questions, the open staring, and even the not-so-subtle counting that occurs when we go somewhere as a group.  Boarding a monorail car at Walt Disney World, I overheard another mother tell her husband “6! They have 6 kids! Look at them!”  We were better entertainment than the Small World ride, and without the annoying song!  If , when talking to people, they manage to get past my snarky “we enjoy and are good at the reproductive process” comments, we’re often asked if we’re 1. Mormon, 2. Catholic 3. The Duggars, or 4. Quakers.  No, no, HECK no, and nope.  I do adore Michelle Duggar and give great props for her patience level, but 19? That’s nuts.  We’ll just stop at 6.  or 7.  Maybe 8.  (You see how this goes.)

            Nothing that people say about our family size gets me too riled.  I know that it’s unusual in this day and age, and I can see the humor in their fascination.  I did get a little bent out of shape when one woman said “Thank goodness my husband is a feminist.”  As if my sweet, dependable husband was forcing me to bear forth his seed.  Ha.  Our decision to have a large family was not planned in advance..but always planned.  None of our beautiful children was a mistake, or an ‘accident’, but a couple of times, they were very happy surprises in timing.  The  3^rd child was a miracle we never thought we’d have after a long bout of infertility. Our 5^th was named nearly a year in advance, as we drove home from the hospital with our adorable and sweet 4^th,  but her arrival only 11 months later was a bit of a shock.  The 6^th was debated, discussed and then we just belly flopped into that decision and out came one of the happiest babies the world will ever know.  The idea of the 7^th is still in committee.  We’re not sure when that bill will reach Capitol Hill.

            Whatever our final family size is, I will continue to chuckle when I overhear the whispers and the rushed counting of heads.  I will accept their disbelief and answer their questions of “How do you do it? I can barely deal with 2!”  I will continue to come up with snarky answers to stupid questions. The bottom line is they are each a valued member of the family and the world, irreplaceable, beautiful, unique, and oh so much fun to create!

So, do you get asked about YOUR family plans? Is your family upset that you stopped with one? Thinks you're crazy for having number 3?  Asks repeatedly if you're going to try for a girl/boy?  Asks you childless friends 'when are you getting started?"  How do you respond?