Meeting Nowah Why-Lee *name changed to protect the innocent

As many of you know, my daughter Casadie and I got to spend 3.5 weeks in California as part of her acting camp.  During the day, I had errands and tasks galore to complete, but always kept a wary eye out for celebrities to report back to you with.  I was closing in on the last days with nothing to share but a fuzzy distant shot of John Leguizamo at Universal.  Discouragement was high, but then, a chance encounter with one of the great loves of my life salvaged the trip.  This is my account of that day. 100% factual in every detail. Honestly.  

(*editor’s note: we’ll see. *author’s note: seriously, it’s true!)

It was the first performance night for our kids. All of the parents were congregating outside, waiting for our cue to go in.  It was a beautiful, sunny day, and the chatting was pleasant. We were all eager to see our children do well.  I was standing by the door of the small café that was attached to the theater.  As I gazed toward Santa Monica Boulevard, a smartly-dressed man strode by. 

(*editors note: He was NOT smartly dressed, he looked like a bum! *author’s note: shut up! It’s my story..let me tell it!) 

I immediately recognized him as the famous doctor from that famous doctor show! My heart skipped a beat or two, even more so when our eyes met, and he winked at me seductively.  As I drew a sharp breath in surprise, he chuckled, and turned into the café. 

(*editor’s note: He did NOT wink! OR chuckle!) 

I stood, frozen for a moment, while rapidly trying to decide what the etiquette would be in Hollywood. Would it be ok for me to ask for an autograph or photo? Would he turn me down flat? I wondered if anyone else recognized him...so far no one else was kicking up a fuss, so I followed him inside the café.  He ordered his drink, a super-tall, mocha, double-light, half-fat, vege-chino, vanilla caramel strawberry frappe.  He ordered a second drink..a hot chocolate. My heart skipped a beat…that was MY favorite drink…could it be? No, of course not.

He stepped back outside, and into the melee. The other moms were on to him. Flashbulbs were popping everywhere.  Like the professional that he is, he graciously allowed a few photographs, including one with me. He chatted with me briefly while someone figured out my camera, asking us why we were there, crowding his favorite café.  He made pleasant conversation with me, took our photograph together, and then he was gone.  I very maturely and calmly 

(*editor’s note: HA!) 

walked about half a block away so that I could text my friends about this very nice moment.   

(*Editor’s note: all of the following is a complete and utter fabrication. It simply didn’t happen. *Author’s Note: You’re not fun at all, you stupid editor. Shut up and stay out of my head!!) 

All of a sudden, I heard “Hey…hey! Over here!” A loud stage whisper called my attention to a side alley.  I walked over, and was surprised to find Nowah peeking out at me.  He beckoned me to come closer and when I stepped into the alley, he relaxed and smiled.  “I noticed you right away. I could tell you’re a big fan of mine, right?”  Coquettishly, I replied “why, yes, I’ve watched you once or twice on that doctor show.” He laughed heartily..”Once or twice, yeah..that sounds right. Walk with me.”  He handed me the second cup. I looked at him with wide eyes, and he just said “Hot chocolate, right?”  We walked northbound for a block or two, through a cluster of small houses that seemed misplaced in such a dirty, industrial area.

We chatted lightly about the acting camp my daughter was a part of. He seemed interested and was very encouraging.  He spoke of his new show, a post-apocolyptic alien type thing. He said he was enjoying it very much.

Suddenly, he stopped in front of a small bungalow. He said “This is my place”, and opened the small metal gate, and ushered me through.  As we entered the house, I noticed it was definitely a bachelor pad. I expressed in the most polite way that I could, that it didn’t seem like the kind of place I would think he would live in, given his celebrity status. Chuckling, (I love how he chuckles), he said “this is just the place I stay in when I’m in Hollywood. It’s close to my studio.”

He set down his super-tall, mocha, double-light, half-fat, vege-chino, vanilla caramel strawberry frappe on the end table near the door.  Taking two steps, he reached for my hot chocolate, and set it down as well. Then, he took me in his arms and kissed me passionately. Shocked..I didn’t respond for a moment, but then I stepped back and said “No, Nowah! I’m married!” Smiling, he said “But, Jennifer…you’re so beautiful. I love voluptuous women who are passionate and fiery. Be mine!”  I remained firm, and reiterated my love for Bill. I said I was flattered by his attention, but that we would have to remain friends only.  He looked sad, forlorn.  He said “I’ve never been turned down before, you are the most amazing woman I’ve ever met! Remember me if you ever change your mind!” I looked into his eyes, and put my finger to his lips. “No, Nowah, it can never happen. There can never be anything between us. You must forget me.”  As he wiped away the single tear that coursed down his cheek, I grabbed my hot chocolate. No sense in letting it go to waste, after all.  I looked at him again, and said my parting words. “Your new show is very good…can your post-apocolyptic band of alien fighters find a Walgreen’s to raid? Your character needs to find a razor. You’re much better looking when your cleanly shaven.”

I turned and stepped outside, closing the door behind me.  I could hear Nowah sobbing softly inside.  My heart melted for him, but my resolve didn’t waver.  I marched down the steps, and back up the block, ready to sit and watch my darling daughter in her debut performance.

When it was over, I stepped outside to wait for Casadie to appear. The crowd was thick with parents and performers all greeting each other with kisses and flowers, agents walking around with thick sheaves of headshots, chatting with those they wanted to pursue.  A few times, I noticed a tall, good-looking man with a beard peeking around trees and lightposts at me.  Oh Nowah, how I hated to break your heart.

(*Editor’s note: does anyone here realize how DELUSIONAL the author is?? I mean SERIOUSLY. DE-LU-SION-AL. With a capital D.)

(*Author’s note: You’re just jealous, you ridiculous editor. Just sitting around editing people’s blogs. What kind of life is that? Just because Nowah falls in love with a  voluptuous mother of six that he cannot be with, isn’t a good reason for you to go crazy in the editorial notes.  Get a life. Really.)

(*Editor’s note part 2: Seriously. This blog is a complete fabrication. This did not happen. She saw him at the café, got a picture with him, chatted briefly, and then he left.  She was a hot mess for 15 minutes afterwards, but the whole seduction thing did not happen. This blog takes no responsibility for this. Nowah, don’t sue. Author has nothing but her imagination.)